So, as it turns out, it's not enough to have a chore chart. You have to actually look at it and then DO IT! I think we stuck to it for one blessed week and I was so excited and thought, "Wow, this is really working." I don't know what happened. Life I guess. We still try and I guess the benefit is that it got us all thinking that chores are not just for Saturdays anymore. Overall, I'd say the house is staying cleaner, but I was hoping we'd stick to it long enough that it would become a habit. Still striving; haven't given up yet!!
Our recent excitement has been a third dog. Our son, Martin, found a stray and brought him home. He is a pit bull and after referring to him as "the dog," I finally started calling him Bullet. He had a wound that looked like he may have been hit by a bullet and he had been cared for but somehow gotten loose. He was not micro chipped. It's been a little traumatic. We all fell in love with him; so sweet and gentle. Our two dogs (both males) loved him as well which is miraculous, really. Manny, our older dog, is the dominant one and loves other dogs, but Rocky does not like other dogs. Rocky took to Bullet right away, though. He was just SO BIG! Marty and I prayed about it and both discussed ways we could make it work. We kept him in the basement and hooked him up outside as often as possible. It's funny how God answers prayers sometimes. Over the last weekend, I just kept thinking, "I can't see this dog in my house. It would be a train wreck." and went to bed Sunday night (early) praying about and thinking that we had to let him go. Monday morning, as Marty was saying goodbye to go to work he said, "I think we need to take Bullet to a shelter." I agreed. Later that day, about lunch time, I get a call from the girls. They are both upset, Ruth is crying. Apparently, Bullet chewed up some stuff in the basement and peed in the basement (first time that had happened). He also broke the lead in the backyard and the girls were beside themselves about what to do. Marty went home to deal with the situation and calm the girls down, but boy, that made it abundantly clear that it just wasn't working. Marty and Ruth took Bullet to a shelter that night. It was difficult for all of us. We had him just 10 days and we all loved him, but the reality was that we were not the best place for him.
Co-op is going well. I enjoy the classes I teach and the girls seem to enjoy their classes, too. Ruth loves her art class and tells me I'm doing great with English and Geography (okay, she finds geography boring, but she said she is having "fun" in english!). Jane loves her Geometry and Literature; not so fond of Chemistry! I told her that's perfectly normal for most of us, just get through it. I still struggle with whether co-op is helping more than it is hindering. I guess the reality is that the girls enjoy it and especially for Jane, it is very helpful with her high school level courses. I really enjoy learning along side her, but not having all the weight on my shoulders. I guide her when she's stuck and help her to discern when it is time to ask the teacher for help.
Facing reality helps us to put aside what we want so we can see what is best. I would love a cleaner, neater house, but the reality is that life is messy and it's not time for that right now so why stress about it. We just keep trying to stay on top of it. We all wanted to be the family that kept Bullet, but the reality is that would not have been in Bullet's best interest. We did the right thing by that dog and often that is the hard, selfless thing to do. Boy, wouldn't I love to not go to co-op on Fridays, but the reality is that it is good for all of us and we make good contributions there; so we go. It's good to do a reality check when things are not working or when things feel uncomfortable. Wishing you peace amidst your reality!!
Musings on the daily trials and triumphs of a homeschool family.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Sunday, September 22, 2013
About Those Bloody Chores!
Marty and I have tried to teach our kids personal responsibility. From the age of about 3, we expect the kids to clear their own dishes from the table. Our 4 year olds empty the utensils from the dishwasher; it's a great sorting activity for pre-schoolers (we use a stool so they can easily see into the utensil drawer and we empty any sharp knives). At 5 years old, they can clean the front of the dishwasher, oven and refrigerator; spray windex and give them a couple of paper towels and they go to it.
Our kids have always been expected to do certain things like pick up after themselves, help set table, pitch in with yard work, help with grocery shopping and putting groceries away, and changing linens/make beds (I have to admit that I don't expect their beds to be made every morning, just what I call "straightened" and we make beds when company is coming). As the kids grew up, we "assigned" certain chores. The younger kids were expected to unload the dishwasher, clean bathroom sinks and toilets, and vaccum. The older kids (usually starting freshman year) are responsible for taking the trash out which used to be twice a week, but is now only once a week. As a junior or senior, I taught them how to do the laundry. We used to do all these chores on Saturday mornings and the house would get cleaned up in no time.
This system worked until about the time Leo (our second oldest) went away to college. Also, with me working Saturday mornings, it's just not happening. We've been limping along with a system that no longer works. Now, it's time to develop a new system. The plan is to have a weekly schedule so things get done weekly, but not all on one day. I figure that if five people take 10-20 minutes a day to do chores, that makes a big difference in the cleanliness of the house. So, I made a color-coded chart that shows who does what on each day. I'm excited! I hope it will help us stay on top of the mess. It sure can't hurt!! Here's a picture of the rudimentary chart. I hope you can read it; I'm new at this:) Marty is at the top, in blue; followed by me in pink; Sam is orange; Jane is green and Ruth is purple.
The girls and I have the most chores, so it seems a little sexist. However, when the boys were younger, they did the same chores the girls are now doing. As they get older, they learn more about contributing to the household. Sam is in his senior year with no less than 8 college credits to pass this year and working 15 hours a week at the grocery store. He also buys and shares groceries and pays for gas. My college age boys are also generous and contribute in ways that make me proud. They do their own laundry and pitch in wherever they see a need and that is so gratifying to see. As for my husband, well, his "Honey, do" list is never-ending! In the end, it's about teaching that everyone pitches in whatever they have to offer. Many hands make light work, right? Right!
Our kids have always been expected to do certain things like pick up after themselves, help set table, pitch in with yard work, help with grocery shopping and putting groceries away, and changing linens/make beds (I have to admit that I don't expect their beds to be made every morning, just what I call "straightened" and we make beds when company is coming). As the kids grew up, we "assigned" certain chores. The younger kids were expected to unload the dishwasher, clean bathroom sinks and toilets, and vaccum. The older kids (usually starting freshman year) are responsible for taking the trash out which used to be twice a week, but is now only once a week. As a junior or senior, I taught them how to do the laundry. We used to do all these chores on Saturday mornings and the house would get cleaned up in no time.
This system worked until about the time Leo (our second oldest) went away to college. Also, with me working Saturday mornings, it's just not happening. We've been limping along with a system that no longer works. Now, it's time to develop a new system. The plan is to have a weekly schedule so things get done weekly, but not all on one day. I figure that if five people take 10-20 minutes a day to do chores, that makes a big difference in the cleanliness of the house. So, I made a color-coded chart that shows who does what on each day. I'm excited! I hope it will help us stay on top of the mess. It sure can't hurt!! Here's a picture of the rudimentary chart. I hope you can read it; I'm new at this:) Marty is at the top, in blue; followed by me in pink; Sam is orange; Jane is green and Ruth is purple.
The girls and I have the most chores, so it seems a little sexist. However, when the boys were younger, they did the same chores the girls are now doing. As they get older, they learn more about contributing to the household. Sam is in his senior year with no less than 8 college credits to pass this year and working 15 hours a week at the grocery store. He also buys and shares groceries and pays for gas. My college age boys are also generous and contribute in ways that make me proud. They do their own laundry and pitch in wherever they see a need and that is so gratifying to see. As for my husband, well, his "Honey, do" list is never-ending! In the end, it's about teaching that everyone pitches in whatever they have to offer. Many hands make light work, right? Right!
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Summer's End
"Mom, did you know..." Follow that with any fact about birds and that's what I hear almost daily. Ruth is focusing on science this month. We've been back at school since August 5th. I gave her the Apologia science book and just said, "Here, read this cover to cover." She can't wait to tell me the stuff she's learning. For instance, why the Dodo bird went extinct, how birds fly, how banding birds came about (something about King Henry IV and his pet Peregrines) and how birds mark their territory. She is just consuming that book and I couldn't be happier. She is picking and choosing what experiments interest her and we are doing just those. After Labor Day, she'll be back to school full time, but right now it's just her science, math, and penmanship.
Jane is focusing on her algebra. At the co-op this year she'll be taking chemistry, geometry and literature. At home she will be doing history, typing, sewing, and religion. She recently checked out a movie from the library called "Ballerina." It was a documentary on 4 ballerinas and their rising careers. At the end of the film (mostly subtitled because they all spoke french or russian) Jane tells me she wants to learn all about the famous ballerinas and famous ballets. She says she's going to research it and write a paper on it. Awesome! I was so happy to hear her WANT to do a paper on something! I so often have doubts about what we are doing, but then, along comes a moment.....and you are reassured, rewarded, re-inspired.
Speaking of doubts....I had many last year. I had mapped out our lesson plan for my first year homeschooling a freshman and then took a "temporary" part-time job working two days a week! That really threw the whole schedule off and I wondered if I was doing a good job at anything. Jane is the one who continually works hard to convince me that it's okay. In many ways, she is braver and stronger than I am! This year, I am still working, but at least I get to plan for it.
I've planned to simplify our schedule. I will still work Mondays and Wednesdays, except I'll have the third week of every month off. We have co-op on Friday mornings from 9-12noon. Piano lessons will be on Wednesdays while I'm at work. That leaves us with Tuesdays and Thursdays completely free. Jane will be dancing 5 times a week (7 if you count her demonstrating classes) and Ruth twice a week. Any doctor's appointments, etc. will be scheduled on Thursdays or on Friday afternoons. I'll also be working at the girls dance center on Saturdays from 9-1p.m. All in all, I am excited that this year is more planned, organized and simplified.
Marty, Jane, and I are going to put together a list of household chores and a schedule of when they need to be done and by whom. I have got to get on top of the house cleaning. Sam has really urged me to have a garage sale this year. Marty and I cleaned out the garage and already there is stuff on tables, cleaned and ready to go. We will clean out the basement as well and that will add to the size of the garage sale AND to the cleanliness of our house! Then I've got some rearranging to do on the main floor and I'll feel like I'm on top of it....finally. With the money we make at the garage sale, we are going to go to Six Flags in October. I can't wait! Ruth has never gone and I hope all 7 of us can go (maybe more with girlfriends) but even if it is 3 of our kids, it will be fun.
Summer is ending and a new school year is underway. I love this time of year. I am re-energized and full of hope and new ideas. I know it won't all work out and time will come when I will be tired, overwhelmed, discouraged, but right now is a good time. A time to look forward, a time to make plans, a time to savor summer's end!
P.S. Here's a picture of our fairy garden. See Mr. Frog? And the "bird bath" and some strawberry plants.
Jane is focusing on her algebra. At the co-op this year she'll be taking chemistry, geometry and literature. At home she will be doing history, typing, sewing, and religion. She recently checked out a movie from the library called "Ballerina." It was a documentary on 4 ballerinas and their rising careers. At the end of the film (mostly subtitled because they all spoke french or russian) Jane tells me she wants to learn all about the famous ballerinas and famous ballets. She says she's going to research it and write a paper on it. Awesome! I was so happy to hear her WANT to do a paper on something! I so often have doubts about what we are doing, but then, along comes a moment.....and you are reassured, rewarded, re-inspired.
Speaking of doubts....I had many last year. I had mapped out our lesson plan for my first year homeschooling a freshman and then took a "temporary" part-time job working two days a week! That really threw the whole schedule off and I wondered if I was doing a good job at anything. Jane is the one who continually works hard to convince me that it's okay. In many ways, she is braver and stronger than I am! This year, I am still working, but at least I get to plan for it.
I've planned to simplify our schedule. I will still work Mondays and Wednesdays, except I'll have the third week of every month off. We have co-op on Friday mornings from 9-12noon. Piano lessons will be on Wednesdays while I'm at work. That leaves us with Tuesdays and Thursdays completely free. Jane will be dancing 5 times a week (7 if you count her demonstrating classes) and Ruth twice a week. Any doctor's appointments, etc. will be scheduled on Thursdays or on Friday afternoons. I'll also be working at the girls dance center on Saturdays from 9-1p.m. All in all, I am excited that this year is more planned, organized and simplified.
Marty, Jane, and I are going to put together a list of household chores and a schedule of when they need to be done and by whom. I have got to get on top of the house cleaning. Sam has really urged me to have a garage sale this year. Marty and I cleaned out the garage and already there is stuff on tables, cleaned and ready to go. We will clean out the basement as well and that will add to the size of the garage sale AND to the cleanliness of our house! Then I've got some rearranging to do on the main floor and I'll feel like I'm on top of it....finally. With the money we make at the garage sale, we are going to go to Six Flags in October. I can't wait! Ruth has never gone and I hope all 7 of us can go (maybe more with girlfriends) but even if it is 3 of our kids, it will be fun.
Summer is ending and a new school year is underway. I love this time of year. I am re-energized and full of hope and new ideas. I know it won't all work out and time will come when I will be tired, overwhelmed, discouraged, but right now is a good time. A time to look forward, a time to make plans, a time to savor summer's end!
P.S. Here's a picture of our fairy garden. See Mr. Frog? And the "bird bath" and some strawberry plants.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Fairy Garden
We made a fairy garden! Marty took scrap wood and a piece of leftover wood from the garage "siding" and made a raised garden box about 2' x 4'. He was so happy that it was completely free! It's about 1' deep and he drilled holes in the bottom for drainage.
Jane and Ruth and their cousin John painted the planter with a day and night theme. One side is dark blue with moon and stars and the other side is light blue with sun and clouds. It's darling! In an effort to be "green", I put a bunch of those styrofoam peanuts that have accumulated over the years, in the bottom. They are lighter than rocks and provide good drainage. Then we filled it with a mixture of dirt, sand and potting soil.
The best part was putting in the plants and figurines. We planted strawberries, parsley, bugleweed, a miniature succulent, scottish moss, a pretty flowering trailing vine, daisy moss (it shoots up these darling miniature "daisy" flowers...it's my favorite), spicy basil (it's a "tree"), and some thyme. Finally, the figurines get placed. We have three fairies, a little girl laying on her belly, two little girls that are identical (the girls say they're twins, of 'course), a little boy on his belly, a little girl sitting with her feet dangling; she sits on the edge of something. They also got a bird bath, bunny and raccoon. We laid some interesting looking rocks in the dirt and some other "treasures" we've found in the yard. One of the fun things about living in a century home (133 years, actually) is that they used to burn their trash. They'd dig a whole in the back and fill it with all kinds of trash and burn it and fill it back in with dirt. We continue to find bits of pottery, dishes, old glass bottles and china doll pieces - treasures for our fairies! I don't know who is having more fun, the girls or me!
This summer I'll be watching the daughter of a friend of mine on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. She is a year younger than Ruth and my girls just love her. Her name is Emma. Jane said last night that she knows it's really summer when Emma starts coming over; what a sweet thought! I'm sure Emma will enjoy the fairy garden and her family has a backyard pool, so sometimes we go over there and swim. It's wonderful:)
We are in school over the summer, but I consider it fun school. Ruth will be learning about plants in June. See how tricky I am? The fairy garden isn't just for fun! Ruth is also helping her Aunt Karen with her garden. My sister and her husband have a fairly large garden in their backyard and Ruth got to help Aunt Karen plant the radishes and beans. Over the summer, Ruth will continue to help with weeding and harvesting. In total they've planted, radishes, beans, squash, corn, tomatoes, peppers and a host of other things I couldn't identify. Plenty of hands on learning!!
Jane will be doing math and history over the summer. I'm so proud of her. She is really taking charge of her education and doing a good job. It's not perfect (what is?) but she is learning, maturing and being very sensible. It's her plan to work on her math, history and reading some classics over the summer. The trick now is for her to follow through. I'm still working over the summer and the beautiful weather is a temptation! She doesn't have trouble doing her school work, she just doesn't always work as hard or long as she should. I think that's like most 15 year olds!
One of the benefits of my working part-time is the girls' relationship. They've always been the best of friends, but now it seems like they've developed a part of their relationship that is all their own. I never thought any two sisters could be better friends than I am with my 3 sisters, but I think Jane and Ruth are actually closer! It was always one of the things that I liked about homeschooling; it really provides the time and opportunity to strengthen family bonds. I used to build into our daily schedule time for all 5 of them to play together and time for them to have one-on-one time with each of their siblings. I'll never regret that; striving to build strong bonds between my kids. Now with my working, Jane and Ruth have a real care-taking relationship that is beautiful to see.
We bought a painting eleven or twelve years ago. It's a picture of an older home with a red roof, a porch, some trees and flowers around it. At the bottom it says:
Dishes done; papers read
Children snuggled into bed.
Hours past the setting sun,
I count my blessings, one by one.
Well, I don't know about the dishes being done or even the kids in bed (those dang teenagers!), but counting my blessings could keep me up all night!
Jane and Ruth and their cousin John painted the planter with a day and night theme. One side is dark blue with moon and stars and the other side is light blue with sun and clouds. It's darling! In an effort to be "green", I put a bunch of those styrofoam peanuts that have accumulated over the years, in the bottom. They are lighter than rocks and provide good drainage. Then we filled it with a mixture of dirt, sand and potting soil.
The best part was putting in the plants and figurines. We planted strawberries, parsley, bugleweed, a miniature succulent, scottish moss, a pretty flowering trailing vine, daisy moss (it shoots up these darling miniature "daisy" flowers...it's my favorite), spicy basil (it's a "tree"), and some thyme. Finally, the figurines get placed. We have three fairies, a little girl laying on her belly, two little girls that are identical (the girls say they're twins, of 'course), a little boy on his belly, a little girl sitting with her feet dangling; she sits on the edge of something. They also got a bird bath, bunny and raccoon. We laid some interesting looking rocks in the dirt and some other "treasures" we've found in the yard. One of the fun things about living in a century home (133 years, actually) is that they used to burn their trash. They'd dig a whole in the back and fill it with all kinds of trash and burn it and fill it back in with dirt. We continue to find bits of pottery, dishes, old glass bottles and china doll pieces - treasures for our fairies! I don't know who is having more fun, the girls or me!
This summer I'll be watching the daughter of a friend of mine on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. She is a year younger than Ruth and my girls just love her. Her name is Emma. Jane said last night that she knows it's really summer when Emma starts coming over; what a sweet thought! I'm sure Emma will enjoy the fairy garden and her family has a backyard pool, so sometimes we go over there and swim. It's wonderful:)
We are in school over the summer, but I consider it fun school. Ruth will be learning about plants in June. See how tricky I am? The fairy garden isn't just for fun! Ruth is also helping her Aunt Karen with her garden. My sister and her husband have a fairly large garden in their backyard and Ruth got to help Aunt Karen plant the radishes and beans. Over the summer, Ruth will continue to help with weeding and harvesting. In total they've planted, radishes, beans, squash, corn, tomatoes, peppers and a host of other things I couldn't identify. Plenty of hands on learning!!
Jane will be doing math and history over the summer. I'm so proud of her. She is really taking charge of her education and doing a good job. It's not perfect (what is?) but she is learning, maturing and being very sensible. It's her plan to work on her math, history and reading some classics over the summer. The trick now is for her to follow through. I'm still working over the summer and the beautiful weather is a temptation! She doesn't have trouble doing her school work, she just doesn't always work as hard or long as she should. I think that's like most 15 year olds!
One of the benefits of my working part-time is the girls' relationship. They've always been the best of friends, but now it seems like they've developed a part of their relationship that is all their own. I never thought any two sisters could be better friends than I am with my 3 sisters, but I think Jane and Ruth are actually closer! It was always one of the things that I liked about homeschooling; it really provides the time and opportunity to strengthen family bonds. I used to build into our daily schedule time for all 5 of them to play together and time for them to have one-on-one time with each of their siblings. I'll never regret that; striving to build strong bonds between my kids. Now with my working, Jane and Ruth have a real care-taking relationship that is beautiful to see.
We bought a painting eleven or twelve years ago. It's a picture of an older home with a red roof, a porch, some trees and flowers around it. At the bottom it says:
Dishes done; papers read
Children snuggled into bed.
Hours past the setting sun,
I count my blessings, one by one.
Well, I don't know about the dishes being done or even the kids in bed (those dang teenagers!), but counting my blessings could keep me up all night!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Time to Simplify
It's May and I'm thinking about next school year. I say 'next' even though we go year around, because things always change in the fall with my boys who are in school. I really need to simplify my life next year. Jane will be taking co-op classes on Fridays. Chemistry, American History, Sewing and Public Speaking is what we think, but the schedule is not definite yet. They are going to start offering classes for 4th-6th grade and I'm going to teach English (Rod n Staff Publishers) and possibly spelling for the 4th-6th graders. So, Friday is full!
My boss has told me she is so pleased with the 3 of us job-sharing the front desk that she has no intention of changing the arrangement. Who saw that coming? I did! It's a blessing really, but that means Monday and Wednesday are full! That leaves Tuesdays and Thursdays and I'm going to ask Jane not to demonstrate dance on those days. We NEED two quiet days at home just focusing on our school work. I'm going to move piano to Monday or Wednesday while I'm at work. It happened a couple of times that we had to make up a missed lesson and it really worked out fine. I think it actually goes better because Miss Linda and I don't chat as much (can't chat if I'm not there:).
If Jane stays at the Ballet 2 level and Ruth moves to Dance 4, then Ruth will be able to take class when Jane's in class. That should clear 1, maybe 2, nights. Whew! That would be GREAT! It will just be nice to be able to plan a little bit this year. Getting this part-time job at the last minute kept us scrambling to keep up the rest of the year. I think we've done well, though.
It would be great if I could work at the dance studio at times when the girls are there. That would definitely simplify things. But that may be asking for too much; I may have to stick with my Saturday mornings at studio 3.
I've decided not to put Jane in that other co-op. It would just add another day away. So, again, in the name of simplifying, we will just do the courses at the co-op she's already in. In order to simplify, I also got someone to be my "buddy" at the soup kitchen. A woman named Martha (how appropriate, Martha and Mary) will help me with the ovens. This takes a little pressure off me and allows me to be able to more easily miss soup kitchen with a built-in back up. Also, I'm ready for the homeschool conference next year. I'll be vendor coordinator next year, but not without another mom to help me. Again, simplifying my life.
God is teaching me to take things as they come....one step at a time. So much that I worry about has to do with the unknown future. I can learn to leave that in God's hands and just deal with the moment at hand. Doesn't mean I shouldn't try to plan for next year; just that I need not worry about it. Today, right now, all is good and I am richly blessed. Simple.
My boss has told me she is so pleased with the 3 of us job-sharing the front desk that she has no intention of changing the arrangement. Who saw that coming? I did! It's a blessing really, but that means Monday and Wednesday are full! That leaves Tuesdays and Thursdays and I'm going to ask Jane not to demonstrate dance on those days. We NEED two quiet days at home just focusing on our school work. I'm going to move piano to Monday or Wednesday while I'm at work. It happened a couple of times that we had to make up a missed lesson and it really worked out fine. I think it actually goes better because Miss Linda and I don't chat as much (can't chat if I'm not there:).
If Jane stays at the Ballet 2 level and Ruth moves to Dance 4, then Ruth will be able to take class when Jane's in class. That should clear 1, maybe 2, nights. Whew! That would be GREAT! It will just be nice to be able to plan a little bit this year. Getting this part-time job at the last minute kept us scrambling to keep up the rest of the year. I think we've done well, though.
It would be great if I could work at the dance studio at times when the girls are there. That would definitely simplify things. But that may be asking for too much; I may have to stick with my Saturday mornings at studio 3.
I've decided not to put Jane in that other co-op. It would just add another day away. So, again, in the name of simplifying, we will just do the courses at the co-op she's already in. In order to simplify, I also got someone to be my "buddy" at the soup kitchen. A woman named Martha (how appropriate, Martha and Mary) will help me with the ovens. This takes a little pressure off me and allows me to be able to more easily miss soup kitchen with a built-in back up. Also, I'm ready for the homeschool conference next year. I'll be vendor coordinator next year, but not without another mom to help me. Again, simplifying my life.
God is teaching me to take things as they come....one step at a time. So much that I worry about has to do with the unknown future. I can learn to leave that in God's hands and just deal with the moment at hand. Doesn't mean I shouldn't try to plan for next year; just that I need not worry about it. Today, right now, all is good and I am richly blessed. Simple.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Frequently Asked Questions
Over the years, I've been asked a lot of questions about homeschooling. There are a few that come up quite often that I thought I'd address here.
Time Management: Again, I really like the Managers of their Homes (link at the bottom of my blog) system. You have to be careful not to let the schedule rule you; it's a tool to aid you not a task master. It really helped me organize all the things that needed to be done in a day. It helped me plan time for the kids to have one on one time with me and with each other. No two days are ever the same. If your house is like mine, there are constant interruptions. The schedule helps to keep the focus, re-center during the chaos. I had to stuggle to not let the schedule become another stress for me (Oh, no! We didn't follow the schedule all day! Oh, no! It's 12:30 and we're not ready for lunch!) but overall, it was a huge help.
How do you get your kids to do their school work? That's usually followed by, "I can't get mine to do homework!" It's different. Your kids know that you are in charge of their education and they will respect that. I'm not saying they don't push the limits, but it is different than what you experience with homework. Having said that, you do have to establish discipline and be consistent. Your children will rise to your expectations, so aim high!
How do you keep the house clean? There are several ways to keep on top of chores. In most homes, regardless of how the kids are educated, kids have chores. If every child has 15 minutes of chore time in the morning and 15 minutes of chores in the evening, that's a lot of chores. Done on a daily basis, with a rotating schedule it is very do-able. We usually had assigned chores that changed from year to year. Some people have a chore jar filled with slips of paper that have a 15-minute chore on it. At chore time, everyone grabs a slip of paper out of the jar and does the chore on it. The chores are like 'wipe clean all the switch plates in the house'/'shake out the scatter rugs'/'dust the piano'/ 'brush the dogs/cats'. That used chore paper goes in a drawer until the jar is empty and then they start over. Bigger chores are done on Saturday. Some families have 20 minutes before bedtime every night. A timer is set and for 20 minutes everyone in the family picks up, dusts, vacuums. Then it's pajamas, story time and off to bed. That helps to keep on top of the mess.
Again, the Managers of their Homes system is very useful in addressing time management and how to get it all done and not feel frazzled. The key, I think, is to run your home like a business. Have a list of things to do, projects, etc. Delegate, delegate, delegate. Kids want to be useful and can do much; it doesn't have to fall on one person. In the end, they learn valuable life skills and time management.
Do we school in our pajamas? We do not. I know some families do, but I never did. I always told my kids that what you are wearing, the lighting, how you are sitting, all those things tell your brain something. I expected my kids to 'come to the table a willing student' and that meant dressed for the day. Some years, we even tried uniforms, but that didn't work well. It just became another thing to wash, keep track of, nag them about, etc. On rare occassions when several of us were sick, or on a big thunderstorm day we would stay in our pj's and do our school in the living room. Mostly, we got dressed. Which leads me to another question people frequently ask:
Do we have a set time that we start or finish? Second to that, how long does it take us? I did have a set time to meet at the table for school. It was and still is 8:00a.m. Some families start with morning mass; we seldom did that, but some people need that 'appointment' to get everyone going. We did/do have prayers every day and often prayed the rosary with special intentions.
The length of time varies. The older the kids get, the longer their schooling takes. And I know families that play in the morning and school in the afternoon. I know families that got up earlier than we did and yet got to their school work later than we did. Certainly, homeschoolers can finish their school work in less time than in a traditional school setting. But the goal is not to be quick, but thorough and well-rounded.
This is the end of this series on my thoughts and experiences with homeschooling. I hope what I've communicated is that homeschoolers are a diverse group of people. There are many ways to homeschool and my best advice to anyone considering homeschooling is to find what works for your family. The best way to do that, of'course, is to allow God to be your guide. He will never steer you wrong.
"I am the vine, you are the branches." Jesus says, "If you remain in Me and I in you, the same brings forth great fruit." John 15:5
Time Management: Again, I really like the Managers of their Homes (link at the bottom of my blog) system. You have to be careful not to let the schedule rule you; it's a tool to aid you not a task master. It really helped me organize all the things that needed to be done in a day. It helped me plan time for the kids to have one on one time with me and with each other. No two days are ever the same. If your house is like mine, there are constant interruptions. The schedule helps to keep the focus, re-center during the chaos. I had to stuggle to not let the schedule become another stress for me (Oh, no! We didn't follow the schedule all day! Oh, no! It's 12:30 and we're not ready for lunch!) but overall, it was a huge help.
How do you get your kids to do their school work? That's usually followed by, "I can't get mine to do homework!" It's different. Your kids know that you are in charge of their education and they will respect that. I'm not saying they don't push the limits, but it is different than what you experience with homework. Having said that, you do have to establish discipline and be consistent. Your children will rise to your expectations, so aim high!
How do you keep the house clean? There are several ways to keep on top of chores. In most homes, regardless of how the kids are educated, kids have chores. If every child has 15 minutes of chore time in the morning and 15 minutes of chores in the evening, that's a lot of chores. Done on a daily basis, with a rotating schedule it is very do-able. We usually had assigned chores that changed from year to year. Some people have a chore jar filled with slips of paper that have a 15-minute chore on it. At chore time, everyone grabs a slip of paper out of the jar and does the chore on it. The chores are like 'wipe clean all the switch plates in the house'/'shake out the scatter rugs'/'dust the piano'/ 'brush the dogs/cats'. That used chore paper goes in a drawer until the jar is empty and then they start over. Bigger chores are done on Saturday. Some families have 20 minutes before bedtime every night. A timer is set and for 20 minutes everyone in the family picks up, dusts, vacuums. Then it's pajamas, story time and off to bed. That helps to keep on top of the mess.
Again, the Managers of their Homes system is very useful in addressing time management and how to get it all done and not feel frazzled. The key, I think, is to run your home like a business. Have a list of things to do, projects, etc. Delegate, delegate, delegate. Kids want to be useful and can do much; it doesn't have to fall on one person. In the end, they learn valuable life skills and time management.
Do we school in our pajamas? We do not. I know some families do, but I never did. I always told my kids that what you are wearing, the lighting, how you are sitting, all those things tell your brain something. I expected my kids to 'come to the table a willing student' and that meant dressed for the day. Some years, we even tried uniforms, but that didn't work well. It just became another thing to wash, keep track of, nag them about, etc. On rare occassions when several of us were sick, or on a big thunderstorm day we would stay in our pj's and do our school in the living room. Mostly, we got dressed. Which leads me to another question people frequently ask:
Do we have a set time that we start or finish? Second to that, how long does it take us? I did have a set time to meet at the table for school. It was and still is 8:00a.m. Some families start with morning mass; we seldom did that, but some people need that 'appointment' to get everyone going. We did/do have prayers every day and often prayed the rosary with special intentions.
The length of time varies. The older the kids get, the longer their schooling takes. And I know families that play in the morning and school in the afternoon. I know families that got up earlier than we did and yet got to their school work later than we did. Certainly, homeschoolers can finish their school work in less time than in a traditional school setting. But the goal is not to be quick, but thorough and well-rounded.
This is the end of this series on my thoughts and experiences with homeschooling. I hope what I've communicated is that homeschoolers are a diverse group of people. There are many ways to homeschool and my best advice to anyone considering homeschooling is to find what works for your family. The best way to do that, of'course, is to allow God to be your guide. He will never steer you wrong.
"I am the vine, you are the branches." Jesus says, "If you remain in Me and I in you, the same brings forth great fruit." John 15:5
Monday, March 25, 2013
If you homeschool, then...
...you must never yell at your children. I'm not saying that as an order, I'm saying that as an assumption. Over the years, many people have said things to me upon finding out that I homeschool. So in this post, I wish to sort out the fact from myth. As to this particular one, it is a myth. A mom once told me she could never homeschool because she new she would yell at her kids. WHAT???? (That's what happened in my head.) WHAT??? She thinks I never yell at my kids???? Ummm... I have yelled at my kids..and do. It's not something I'm proud of; but there it is. Sometimes, I lose my patience and I yell. My kids will tell you that I have oft said, "Why do people yell? Because they feel they are not being listened to!!" I say this during my rant. So, sorry to take that reason for not homeschooling away, but homeschoolers may, might, shouldn't, but do, sometimes yell at their kids.
...you must have a degree in education. This kept me from homeschooling for many years. I thought I was unqualified. What it takes to manage a classroom in our school system is very different from what it takes to educate your kids at home. In addition, you have the teacher books as an aid and can buy complete curriculums and lesson plans, if you want. It's been 12 years since I started and there is so much available on-line now. No teacher has all the knowledge in his/her head. There may be some states that require that, but I'm not aware of them. Contact your local chapter of HSLDA to find out.
....you are superwoman. This one always makes me feel uncomfortable. SO many people I meet, upon learning that we homeschool, go on about how wonderful I am, how amazed they are, how they could never do what I do. I'm no more superwoman than they are. I remember the first year we homeschooled I was so relieved. I hated following the school schedule from the time Martin was 4 years old and went to pre-school 3 days a week. Hated it! Life was so much more peaceful marching to the beat of our own drum. So, to me, all the other women out there are superwomen. Kids in school, jobs, extra-curricular activities; I don't know how YOU do it. I can assure you that I have never met a homeschool mom who feels like superwoman. So, let's just agree that we all spend our time the way that works best for our families and leave it at that.
...your kids must be socially awkward. My personal favorite. (heavy sigh) My first and last word on this is: where you are educated does NOT make you socially awkward. If you think about it, there are socially awkward kids in school and socially adept kids that homeschool. If you find a higher percentage of socially awkward kids among homeschoolers, it may be because the families choose to homeschool rather than subject their kids to being bullied in school. Also, don't confuse socialization with counter-cultural. Many homeschoolers don't watch a lot of television. Their kids may not have cell phones. That makes them counter-cultural, not socially awkward. As a society, with our collective mind, we reject those who are different, especially in the teen years. So maybe your kids are socially awkward or maybe they're just counter-cultural , but feel free to homeschool in either case!
....your kids must be super smart. Countless people respond with that. They've heard all the stories of spelling bee winners, geography bee winners and 15 year olds ready for college. I guess that does happen. Not in our homeschool though. I told my husband before we began homeschooling that one thing I did not want to do is have kids ready for college at 15 or 16 years old. I believe my kids, and your kids, are the students they are and we have very little affect on that. I'm NOT saying that parents can't/don't influence their children's education. That would be silly! I'm just saying that those high-achievers would have been high-achievers wherever they were educated. Certainly, ALL the winners of the spelling/geography bees are not homeschooled. Homeschooling doesn't produce brilliance anymore than it produces social awkwardness. It is true that with homeschooling, kids learn to advance at their own pace. If they have a passion, they have more time to develop it. Those things are true. But not every homeschooled kid is super smart.
....your house will be messy. I'm afraid that is probably true. No matter who you are, unless you are superwoman, the level of cleanliness will probably be less than it would be if your kids went to school. This is true for two reasons, first, because your kids are home and second, you have a full time job. Homeschooling is a full-time job. It doesn't have 9-5 hours, but it takes up time and energy like a full-time job would. There are ways to keep on top of the house and I'll talk about that later.
....your kids must not have learning disabilities. While it's true that some learning disabilities or behavior issues require professional help, it is also true that many families homeschool BECAUSE they have a child (children) with a learning disability. I have a child with dyslexia. Homeschooling allows for one on one attention, tailor made curriculum, and flexibility. A active child can get up and do 10 minutes of jumping jacks if need be. Or a child mastering the times table can do so while riding their scooter or swinging on the swing. Parents of kids with disabilities do homeschool because it allows for more flexibility and for the child to move at their own pace.
....you must be a religious zealot or government paranoid. I'm neither and I've met many other parents who are neither of those things. Of'course, you can find religious zealots and people who are paranoid about the government but it is not a prerequisite. Many families do homeschool in order to better pass on their beliefs in God, but there are also secular homeschool groups that do not want to be associated with any religion. Although there was a time when homeschoolers fit more neatly into a 'box,' I believe the variety of homeschoolers today is as large as the variety of families all around the world.
....you must have LOTS of patience. Well, you'd have to ask my kids about that. It's probably true that homeschooling teaches you patience, but that's true of parenting. That's how I look at it. Parenting requires patience and working with your kids on their homework requires patience. Heck, eating dinner with your kids requires patience. If you believe yourself to be a person who is short on patience, don't let that stop you from homeschooling. When I find myself short on patience, I check my expectations and adjust my attitude. Usually, I'm expecting too much from my kids or myself.
....your kids will be too dependent on you. That's the complete opposite of the objective of homeschooling. As homeschoolers, we are trying to teach our children how to teach themselves. As a homeschooling mom, you will become frazzled if you allow your children to depend on you too much. I've heard comments from teachers at my boys' high school about how the homeschooled kids tend to work ahead. That's more like it!
....you must be having a lot of fun. Well, that's hard to argue with! I used to tell my husband that if we're not having fun, we're done homeschooling. I'm still homeschooling. There are good times and bad, but overall, I love the memories we've created and the fun we've had. It is a lifestyle and I'm glad God called us to it. It's certainly an adventure!!
My next post in this series will be my last in this series. I will address some questions that I've gotten over the years. I hope you had a happy St. Patrick's Day, a blessed Lenten season, and I hope you have a Happy Holy Week!
...you must have a degree in education. This kept me from homeschooling for many years. I thought I was unqualified. What it takes to manage a classroom in our school system is very different from what it takes to educate your kids at home. In addition, you have the teacher books as an aid and can buy complete curriculums and lesson plans, if you want. It's been 12 years since I started and there is so much available on-line now. No teacher has all the knowledge in his/her head. There may be some states that require that, but I'm not aware of them. Contact your local chapter of HSLDA to find out.
....you are superwoman. This one always makes me feel uncomfortable. SO many people I meet, upon learning that we homeschool, go on about how wonderful I am, how amazed they are, how they could never do what I do. I'm no more superwoman than they are. I remember the first year we homeschooled I was so relieved. I hated following the school schedule from the time Martin was 4 years old and went to pre-school 3 days a week. Hated it! Life was so much more peaceful marching to the beat of our own drum. So, to me, all the other women out there are superwomen. Kids in school, jobs, extra-curricular activities; I don't know how YOU do it. I can assure you that I have never met a homeschool mom who feels like superwoman. So, let's just agree that we all spend our time the way that works best for our families and leave it at that.
...your kids must be socially awkward. My personal favorite. (heavy sigh) My first and last word on this is: where you are educated does NOT make you socially awkward. If you think about it, there are socially awkward kids in school and socially adept kids that homeschool. If you find a higher percentage of socially awkward kids among homeschoolers, it may be because the families choose to homeschool rather than subject their kids to being bullied in school. Also, don't confuse socialization with counter-cultural. Many homeschoolers don't watch a lot of television. Their kids may not have cell phones. That makes them counter-cultural, not socially awkward. As a society, with our collective mind, we reject those who are different, especially in the teen years. So maybe your kids are socially awkward or maybe they're just counter-cultural , but feel free to homeschool in either case!
....your kids must be super smart. Countless people respond with that. They've heard all the stories of spelling bee winners, geography bee winners and 15 year olds ready for college. I guess that does happen. Not in our homeschool though. I told my husband before we began homeschooling that one thing I did not want to do is have kids ready for college at 15 or 16 years old. I believe my kids, and your kids, are the students they are and we have very little affect on that. I'm NOT saying that parents can't/don't influence their children's education. That would be silly! I'm just saying that those high-achievers would have been high-achievers wherever they were educated. Certainly, ALL the winners of the spelling/geography bees are not homeschooled. Homeschooling doesn't produce brilliance anymore than it produces social awkwardness. It is true that with homeschooling, kids learn to advance at their own pace. If they have a passion, they have more time to develop it. Those things are true. But not every homeschooled kid is super smart.
....your house will be messy. I'm afraid that is probably true. No matter who you are, unless you are superwoman, the level of cleanliness will probably be less than it would be if your kids went to school. This is true for two reasons, first, because your kids are home and second, you have a full time job. Homeschooling is a full-time job. It doesn't have 9-5 hours, but it takes up time and energy like a full-time job would. There are ways to keep on top of the house and I'll talk about that later.
....your kids must not have learning disabilities. While it's true that some learning disabilities or behavior issues require professional help, it is also true that many families homeschool BECAUSE they have a child (children) with a learning disability. I have a child with dyslexia. Homeschooling allows for one on one attention, tailor made curriculum, and flexibility. A active child can get up and do 10 minutes of jumping jacks if need be. Or a child mastering the times table can do so while riding their scooter or swinging on the swing. Parents of kids with disabilities do homeschool because it allows for more flexibility and for the child to move at their own pace.
....you must be a religious zealot or government paranoid. I'm neither and I've met many other parents who are neither of those things. Of'course, you can find religious zealots and people who are paranoid about the government but it is not a prerequisite. Many families do homeschool in order to better pass on their beliefs in God, but there are also secular homeschool groups that do not want to be associated with any religion. Although there was a time when homeschoolers fit more neatly into a 'box,' I believe the variety of homeschoolers today is as large as the variety of families all around the world.
....you must have LOTS of patience. Well, you'd have to ask my kids about that. It's probably true that homeschooling teaches you patience, but that's true of parenting. That's how I look at it. Parenting requires patience and working with your kids on their homework requires patience. Heck, eating dinner with your kids requires patience. If you believe yourself to be a person who is short on patience, don't let that stop you from homeschooling. When I find myself short on patience, I check my expectations and adjust my attitude. Usually, I'm expecting too much from my kids or myself.
....your kids will be too dependent on you. That's the complete opposite of the objective of homeschooling. As homeschoolers, we are trying to teach our children how to teach themselves. As a homeschooling mom, you will become frazzled if you allow your children to depend on you too much. I've heard comments from teachers at my boys' high school about how the homeschooled kids tend to work ahead. That's more like it!
....you must be having a lot of fun. Well, that's hard to argue with! I used to tell my husband that if we're not having fun, we're done homeschooling. I'm still homeschooling. There are good times and bad, but overall, I love the memories we've created and the fun we've had. It is a lifestyle and I'm glad God called us to it. It's certainly an adventure!!
My next post in this series will be my last in this series. I will address some questions that I've gotten over the years. I hope you had a happy St. Patrick's Day, a blessed Lenten season, and I hope you have a Happy Holy Week!
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