Time Flies!

Oh my goodness!  Time does fly.  I haven't posted on here in over a year!  SO much has happened.  Ruth is in 6th grade, Jane is going to graduate high school this year, Sam is going to be a junior at Missouri S&T this spring semester, Leo just graduated from UMSL last month with a BS in Business/Marketing, and Martin just joined the Marines! Here's a picture of the 5 of them at Christmas.

Whew! That's the short version. So much more to tell though.  I successfully simplified my life this year by scaling back on activities.  This was met with a little bit of complaining by my girls, but in the end, they are loving our simplified days/weeks.  That's something I've learned over the years:

In the end, I'm still in charge.  You can't cave too much to the whims of your kids in an effort to make them happy.  You (guided by the Holy Spirit) know best and have to make tough decisions that, in time, your children will understand.  This is especially true the more children you have; impossible to make everyone happy so choose what's best for the family.

Ruth especially seems to be benefiting from more routine and structure in her school days.  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday she is home working on her school work.  Thursday mornings she demonstrates dance to a class of 3 year olds (her cousin is in it).  Then, she has a light load of school to do.  She also dances Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings.  Tuesday is her long night; she is up there for 5 hours.  She also demonstrates for a class of 4 year olds on Saturday mornings.  She is doing GREAT in her school work and applying herself.  What I remind her of constantly is that this is not the summer.  It's not about free time and playing and friends; it's the school year and she's in 6th grade now and that takes hard work.  I still give her time to play as often as possible, it's just a struggle to keep her focused sometimes.  That's as it should be!  Here she is with me at a hockey game.

Jane has had a very busy fall.  She took the ACT (I'm not allowed to divulge her score, but it did earn her a $9,000 scholarship from Webster University), she was the Snow Queen as well as a clown, merleton, and doll variation in the Nutcracker, and she worked with her dance instructor to create a solo audition for the dance department at Webster U.  I'm happy to report she was quickly accepted and her plans to attend Webster U. and major in dance are set in motion!  She's a lucky girl to know what she wants and to have it, so far, work out.  She has a busy second semester finishing up her classes and dancing 7.5-10 hours a week.  In addition to her regular dance classes, she is having to work on her senior solo for the 2016 recital. Here she just got her acceptance letter!

Sam is doing wonderful.  He worked last summer at an engineering firm as an intern.  He was so lucky to get that job and they PAID for him to get certified in cement (I didn't even know that was a thing).  He's checking with Missouri S&T to see if they'll give him credit for it.  It was hours of studying and he had to pass a test.  Hopefully, it gets him that much closer to graduating.  Even though this is only his second year at college, he'll be a junior this semester.  He says with his goal of dual majoring in civil and architectural engineering, he'll be hard pressed to graduate in 4 years.  Still, he's doing great. Here are the three boys (l-r) Martin, Leo, and Sam. We are out to dinner for Martin's 24th birthday.

Leo has turned a corner by being the first of our kids to graduate college.  He graduated in December with a BS degree in Business with an emphasis in Marketing.  He intends to go on and get his masters in Finance, but he's been advised to gain some real world experience first.  I think that is sound advice.  He is still working for the company that he's been interning for, but he'd like to find something else.  He is grateful for the job, but it's not challenging him; he wants more.  I hope he can find something that makes him feel like it was all worth it.  Ideally, he'll get a job with a company that will eventually help him get his masters.  In the meantime, he's itching to move out, buy a car, and just generally get on with his life.  It's time!

A year ago, Martin was considering yet again the military.  It's been on the table since he was a senior in high school.  Boy! Am I glad he didn't enlist then?!  Now, I don't feel so anxious about it.  I've seen him start to go down so many roads, only to have doors shut.  I can only conclude that this must be where God wants him.  A year ago, he decided that since he didn't think he was going to make a career out of the military, he would instead pursue being a firefighter; specifically a paramedic. As he went through EMT Certification, he discovered that he was going to struggle with certain aspects of the job. Things like waiting for the police to secure a hostage situation before attempted to help any wounded.  In his words, "I just don't think I can do that; it's not me." Back at Thanksgiving, I think he decided to enlist.  He told his dad and I on Christmas Eve and I have to say I'm just happy for him. I think the time is right and he is really ready to be a Marine!  He'll be going to San Diego in early February and I think he'll be gone for six months.  So much I don't know.  We are not a military family so this is all new territory for us.  Very exciting though!

That's what's up with the kids. Next post, I'll catch you up on Marty and me.

Be Kind

I've been sick.  It's been a long time since I've had a really good cold like this one.  No fever, just really tired, throat hurts, head hurts, and I haven't an appetite.  I've been so spoiled though.  I don't have to go in to work.  My girls have done school work quietly, allowing me to rest.  They have made me soup for lunch. Marty has been doing the driving in the evenings and my parents even dropped off soup last night.  I am so spoiled!

Mostly, I've been dozing in the recliner wondering whatever did I do when the kids were little!?  I know that I just kept going and you get through, but what a luxury to not have to do that!  You young moms with little people have a hard job.  I can honestly say that in my experience, being a stay-at-home mom is a harder job than going to work!  Seriously.  Because the work at home NEVER STOPS!

When you go to an office you can work as hard as you want.  You can procrastinate, be slow, make like you're busy, eat at your desk, etc.  Of 'course, I realize there are deadlines and some jobs are more high stress than others.  Still, at home, the kids don't wait.  They don't understand "mom's sick."  There is a constant need and a constant mess.  Meals to be made, play to be supervised, and if you are homeschooling....well, it is demanding.  No sick days for moms/dads at home.

I can remember times when I thought there was something wrong with me because I just couldn't seem to get well.  Well-meaning people who care about me would urge me to take care of myself.  I tried, really I did.  I'd take medicine and try to rest whenever I could, but sometimes it felt like I was up to my elbows in kids and cleaning.  Usually, they would get sick first.  Then, after wiping 1000 runny noses and being sneezed and coughed on another 1000 times, my immune system would be beat and I would succumb. 

It's a hard job.  Be kind to yourself.  I know now that I didn't have to have it all within myself.  Learn to lean on people; family, friends, neighbors, and especially Our Lord.  When you pray, "Lord, help me get through this day." be prepared to say "yes" to the neighbor who offers to watch the kids for a few hours or pick up milk at the store, etc.  That is Him helping. 

At the end of those long days, don't focus on what didn't get done.  All the dust, dirty dishes, and mess will wait for you and even if you had cleaned it, it will most assuredly come back again.  You'll have plenty of days when the kids are gone to have a beautiful house and leisurely mornings with coffee.  Till then, be kind.

Loose Ends

I've been reading through past posts and realized I've got a few loose ends to tie up.  I do that every once in a while, read my old posts.  I can't remember what I've shared and I don't want to repeat myself too much.

For instance, Jane has NOT gotten her drivers license yet.  She's not terribly anxious to, but also it's difficult to make time to take her.  Plus, she has to learn a manual shift.  She does great!  She's been on the road with the van, but only in the cemetery with the Mazda (the manual shift).  We are getting there, but if it were yesterday it wouldn't be soon enough for me!

Also, we have NOT taken Ruth to Six Flags.  Shoot!  The plan all along was to go in October for the Fright Fest, but then when she saw and heard more about it she decided she didn't want to go; too scary!  She is a daredevil when it comes to doing things, but she doesn't like scary movies or spooky things.  So, maybe next year!

I am loving my new job!  It is such a blessing and working out so well for our whole family.  My boss is awesome and I was a little afraid that I had gotten in over my head, but I'm doing fine.  I do have a lot to learn, but I feel at least capable of learning it!  I was also a little concerned that I wouldn't be able to get everything done in the 15 hours, but I can. 

The dance schedule is finally settled!  Jane just got moved up from Modern 2 to Modern 3 last week so now we know her schedule is set.  Jane dances M, W 7:30-9 (ballet); T she demonstrates 4-6; Th she dances 7-9:15 (tap/jazz); Friday, if she's not babysitting, she takes the point class, 4-6:00; Saturday is her modern class from 1-2:30 followed by Company practice till 4p.m.  Sundays vary, but it's Nutcracker rehearsal 3-5 hours; that will end after Christmas.

Ruth also got moved up from tap/jazz dance 5 to tap/jazz dance 6.  Ruth had been taking 90 minutes of ballet on Tuesdays and 90 minutes of tap/jazz on Thursdays. However, Ruth doesn't want to leave her friends so she now dances M 5-6:30 (her Dance 6, tap/jazz), T 5-6:30 (her ballet) AND Th 5-6:30 (her dance 5 tap/jazz).  At least the schedule is finalized and I know what it will be for the rest of the year.

We are re-vamping our chore schedule.  We've had a talk with the kids and how we expect them to help keep certain things clean...like the toilet, the sink, etc.  So, I'm going to try and put up a cleaning chart like they have in public restrooms.  It'll be on the door and you sign it and date it when you've cleaned.  I'll have columns for sink, toilet, and tub and they can initial and date showing what they cleaned.  Do you think they'd be devious enough to initial and date even if they didn't clean it?  No, not my kids, right?  Seriously, I'd be so disappointed if they did, but I don't think they'd stoop to that.  We'll see.  It's just another effort on my part to keep up with the house!

Her are some pics of the girls working at the table.  I've been trying to get a slideshow on the side column, but it's really giving me trouble.  I'm not giving up yet, but here are two for now.

Autumn

What a wonderful summer we had! Marty and I finally got the hang of our backyard pool and thoroughly enjoyed it. Next year we think we may convert it to a salt water system; we hear that’s even better!

I had said that we’d be doing school work over the summer and we did. Jane mostly focused on using Khan Academy to a do a review of algebra. I got email updates as to how much time was spent and what levels she passed, etc. That's an awesome resource!  She HATES math, but there is no way around it and Khan Academy has been very helpful. Now, third week into September, she is well into algebra II (lesson 29) and our goal is to complete algebra by Christmas. That’s how the boy's high school arranged their block schedule; four classes per semester.

This semester Jane is also tackling history, literature, sewing, and photography (the photo class is only 10 weeks). I’m so grateful for the sewing class. She has already made a binder cover which has front and back inside pockets. Now they are making a really nice tote bag. It's lined, has two straps, a pocket, and decorative trim. They are teaching her real sewing, not just the basics and the class goes till December 18th. She will have made the two projects I mentioned plus a skirt, a purse, and sleep pants. Mind you, this is a free class offered at the Pillar Foundation for homeschoolers. They give the students the project, we get the materials and they walk the kids through it. There are two moms teaching the class of about 9 kids. Sew wonderful!

Ruth is doing great, also. She has grown so much. At 5’2” she is one of the two tallest girls in her dance classes. She takes 1.5 hours of ballet on Tuesdays and 1.5 hours of tap/jazz on Thursdays. She seems to be absorbing her school work like a sponge! She’s flying through her math, she went through three science books last year, she’s in her 8th grade geography book; I just can’t seem to keep up with her. Part of that is because it’s just her and Jane so as long as Jane is working on school, Ruth might as well also. Years ago, the boys couldn't wait to finish and go outside to play.  Ruth works longer and zips ahead. She just turned 11 and she’s turning into quite a wonderful young lady and I’m loving being her mom and teacher.

This fall so far has been wonderful. Our schedule is so much simpler. I no longer will be working days, but instead was asked to work from home for CCFM, Conference for Catholic Facilities Management. I’ll be working about 15 hours a week doing bookkeeping and website maintenance. It is such a blessing. I’ll still be working Tuesday nights at the archdiocese and about two weekend shifts a month, as well.

So Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays we are home all day, unless we want to go out! Tuesday we go to Mimi’s house (I call it Tuesday Mornings with Mimi) for some classes. Ruth has about 14 (yes, I said 14) other kids that take art, geography and writing with her. Jane has about 6 other kids who take photography and literature with her. The rest of Tuesday is ours. Then Thursday mornings we are home until sewing class begins at 12:30 and that ends at 3p.m.

I am SO much more relaxed this year than I have been the last two years. Little by little, room by room I’m getting my house back in order. I'm doing better with grocery shopping and dinners. I just feel like I'm back on track. I'll finish here with a poem that Ruth is memorizing:

A haze on the far horizon

The infinite tender sky

The rich ripe tint of the cornfield

And the wild geese sailing high.

And all over upland and lowland

The charm of the goldenrod

Some of us call it autumn

And others call it God.

So much to do, so little time...

It has already been a busy summer. Dance recital is over and has left us very tired. Jane danced five dances, four days in a row. Ruth danced her tap dance to "Steppin' Out with my Baby" on Saturday morning; the only show of the six shows that Jane didn't dance in!! We have a week to recoup and then ballet intensive begins and summer camps.

Our friend Emma has been coming three days a week this summer and we have been doing some science, study of the continents (they are making lap books), and a study of our state's history. They only have to do about 2 hours a day to get their stuff done. Then, Ruth does math on Mondays and Wednesdays (the days I'm at work). Jane is using Kahn Academy to brush up on algebra I before taking algebra II this fall. I want to go on field trips, but when?? I have this whole curriculum built around learning our state's history and it includes field trips (five in all) to various landmarks and our capitol. The days just fly by and I can't seem to fit everything in. There's dance camp and sleepovers and my work and lunch with the piano teacher (a final farewell; no more piano next year), summer school, cars to be inspected, doctor's appointments, etc. It's all good stuff, but hard to fit everything in. I want to do the field trips on days that we have Emma (tuesday/thursday/friday) and that is even more limiting. We will just keep plugging away and get in as much as we can and hope it's enough; it'll have to be!

I want to get a weekend away either with just Marty or with the kids also. Again, it is so hard to plan around everyone's schedules. The three boys all work different jobs and schedules, but even the things the girls are doing can tie us down. Not to mention Marty's job has been unusually demanding lately. The weekends fill up faster than I can get it on the calendar. The thought of a weekend away, even if it's just Marty and I, seems a pipe dream. Sometimes I wonder that I don't get more discouraged about all the plans I make and how little I seem to actually accomplish. I just figure that if you make no plans, that's exactly what you'll accomplish... nothing. Sometimes I get discouraged and say to myself, "What's the point? It's never going to happen, why even bother making plans?" But that's just the devil with discouragement trying to stop me from doing all that is good. I get wonderful ideas of things to do and I KNOW they won't all happen, but it's fun to see what does work out.

Sometimes, it takes a while for things to work out. Last fall, I was determined to take Ruth to Six Flags. We bought shirts and a tye-dye kit so everybody would have a similar shirt. It never happened. However, we have the shirts and plan to tye-dye them for 4th of July and still plan to go to Six Flags THIS fall. We'll see if it works out!! Once in a while my kids might say, "Hey, we never did..." this or that thing. Mostly, though they talk about the fun times we've had or the neat thing we did. That's how life should be. This world revolves in God's time; whether we like it or not. I try to focus on what gets done; the memories created, trusting God to provide for the things that are important. I "look" at the things that fall by the wayside as the flowers that didn't quite make it this year; maybe they'll be back next year. If not, oh well, I'll plant something else there!

Change is Good

I am getting ready for our next school year. I am SUPER excited about how it is shaping up. We've decided to enroll Jane in some online courses instead of participating in a co-op. She'll be taking a history course and algebra 2 online and we are both excited about it. The name of the game for next year is "simplifying" and we are doing a great job!

As I said, we will not be going to co-op, so that frees up Friday. We are also dropping piano which not only frees up our schedule, but saves us money. I am hoping after the summer to go down to 1 day of work during the week and 2 weekend shifts plus maybe a few weeknights a month. That will really make a HUGE difference in my time! I LOVE my job, I really do! But I am just spread too thin and I need more time with my girls and for housework, etc. Marty has been such a tremendous help. He does laundry, cleans the house, yard work, etc. when I'm working Saturdays. I work at the girls dance studio on Saturdays 9-1 and about 2 Saturdays a month I work at the archdiocese. This past Saturday I worked from 9a.m.-10p.m. Obviously, I get nothing done at home on days like that!

There are a few other changes that will occur next year. One is that Sam will be going away to college. Very weird. This is possibly the most difficult change. It was weird when our oldest, Martin, went away. We all noticed the empty spot at the table. It was weird when Leo went away. But with Sam, it seems drastic. There will be 4 at the dinner table, instead of 6 or 7. Strange. However, everything has it's pluses and minuses. The plus here is that we will have fewer car issues. We've had 3 drivers sharing 2 cars for school, and 4 different jobs among us. It's fine; carpooling works. But with Sam away and me home more, it will be easier. Another change is that Jane will be getting her driver's license, hopefully by the end of summer. That makes a difference with dance. Finally, she will be able to take herself to dance and maybe Ruth, as well. I'm not sure what the dance schedule will look like for next year. Jane's schedule won't change much, but Ruth's is up in the air right now. I am hoping it, too, works out with our "simplifying" theme!

One final change I've made that I'm really excited about is dinner. I have a friend who is selling Wildtree products and I love it! Since my life has been what it's been for the past couple of years, I haven't done my usual grocery routine. In the best of times I would make a menu, clip coupons, check the store ads, and do my shopping. I haven't had time to keep that up. Too much frozen pizza, too much wasted food. With Wildtree, Marty and I spend a couple of hours on a Saturday or Sunday (after I have shopped with the grocery list for whatever meal plan I'm making) assemblying 10 good, healthy, freezer meals. So far, we have loved them all and it takes me maybe 20-30 minutes to put dinner together. The 10 meals last us 2-3 weeks with leftovers and a frozen pizza here or there. It has been so great. I am so happy and satisfied to know that we are eating healthier. Wildtree not only has organic, low sodium, low sugar, products (and grapeseed and coconut oil), but they give you all the recipes and products so you can duplicate what you've done. Well, this is starting to sound like a commercial! I can assure you, no one is paying me; I just really love the time saver and the good food. You can check out their website: www.mywildtree.com\cathydaub if you want more information. We will be trying to get our pool up this weekend. YAY!! Looking forward to a beautiful summer and hoping our changes bring a less busy fall!

Spring

This is a wonderful time of year! I love the rain, the new growth, the busy birds and our new school books! Just when things are 'slugging' along and you think you are not going to make it out of winter, spring arrives along with the new books for next school year. It gives me renewed energy and I get all revved up again.

Even the girls love looking through their new books and seeing what they are going to be doing. In Jane's case, she has to finish what she is doing this year; all her stuff is for next year. Ruth, however, has finished her geography, math, and history so she'll begin new books right away. I bought a wonderful book on Greek history that she'll start reading, taking notes, and then writing a summary at the end of each section. Ruth loves Greek history, so that will be a fun book for her to use. It includes a section on Greek foods (I smell gyros). Following the sections on Greek art, furniture, and currency we will go on a field trip to the Art Museum. We LOVE the Art Museum! Ruth is also starting her Saxon 6/5 Math and I've looked through it and am wondering if it is too easy for her. I'll decide once our summer break gets here in July; I may just bump her up.

Jane is happy we've found a history book she likes. It's world history and it's a very readable book. In other words, it's not written like a text book but rather like a novel. She will be reading, taking notes, answering review questions (given in the book) and creating a timeline. Now I just have to find somewhere in the house where I can put the thing!! And, by the way, the conference went well and I think I did fine with my talk on intro to homeschooling; it was fun. I really enjoyed the people and there was a happy atmosphere throughout the whole conference. One of our vendors gave me a bottle of holy water that I took around both Friday and Saturday and asked God to bless our efforts and to send His Holy Spirit to fill the hearts of His faithful. That will be tradition from now on!

I just found out that Leo will be home for Easter this year and I'm very excited about that. We haven't had him home for Easter the last two years. I'm going to put out my hummingbird feeder in May and this year I'm going to plant a lilac bush. I feel like our house needs one and I'm looking forward to going to pick one out. I never love our house more than I do in the springtime! Happy Easter!!

Busy, busy, busy...

I haven't posted for a while. It's been so busy, I can't even decide what to write about. I've started a few drafts and then days go by and they are obsolete. One of the things that has taken up a lot of my time is the Catholic Homeschool Conference. I am the vendor coordinator and am going to give the Intro to Home Schooling talk. I'm not a person who gets nervous about talking in front of people, but I've had so little time to prepare that I'm wondering how this is going to go. I really want to do a good job. I keep trying to zone in on that one special message I want to get across. You know, the one most important thing to take away....but it seems to change daily. Mostly, I want to speak from the Spirit and not from myself. I love the conference, but it is time consuming!

Jane has been injured since Nutcracker. Turns out that her pointe shoes weren't right and she danced for months in them and did 4 shows with two pointe pieces per show (one 4 minute and one 7 minute). She kept telling me that she had this spot on her foot that was hurting. Being the sympathetic mom that I am, I said, "Well Jane, you're dancing 16 hours a week. Your feet are going to hurt. Soak them, massage them, take some ibuprofen and get used to it." Yup, that's the kind of mom I am! Seriously, though, I don't know much about dancing and I just figured it was normal pain that you here dancers suffer. Turns out she has deep bone bruises on both feet affecting mostly her last three toes. It's been NINE WEEKS of not dancing! That's a long time and we are all paying for it! What really got her back on the dance floor were the bio freeze treatments that speed healing of bruises. She's dancing again, limitedly. We are all relieved...Jane is not fun to live with when she can't dance!

My baby, Ruth, also came up with a neat little medical condition called Refractive Amblyopia. Basically, she is legally blind in her right eye. Yup. She's been telling me for years that her vision is blurry out of her right eye, but again, the mom I am said, "Well, look out of your left." There...problem solved. No, I did NOT say that, but I did discount what she was telling me. All evidence pointed to her being able to see. She had some rudimentary exams at the pediatricians - they never indicated a problem. My sister finally took her (Marty and I were out of town and I asked her if she would) to Sam's for one of their free health screenings and they said she had a big discrepancy between her two eyes. Well, an eye exam, a specialist visit, and voila! glasses! The good news is that her eyeball works fine, but her vision is SO bad out of that eye that her brain has stopped interpreting signals from that optic nerve. The specialist will be giving us exercises to try to retrain the connection. She was apparently born with this condition and her left eye compensates (20/20 vision out of that eye). So, my life has been vendors, doctors, dance, school, doctors, speakers, floor plans, doctors, etc. But these are the days to treasure. One day life will slow down and, God willing, I'll sit and smile and look back and enjoy the memories of these busy days.

Catching Up!

This is too funny!  I wrote this back in early December...about "catching up" and here I am just releasing it!  That seems fitting.  Here it is, warts and all:

It's been awhile.  My cup is overflowing with blessings that keep me happily busy.  It seems like everywhere in my life I am trying to catch up.  Catching up with my sewing, catching up with house chores, catching up with reading, baking, Christmas stuff.  I thought I'd take some time to catch up on my blog.

We are heavy into dance.  Jane dances 6-7 days a week now.  It's a total of anywhere from 12.5 hours to 16 hours a week with 6 of those hours being on Sunday afternoons for Nutcracker rehearsal.  Ruth dances 1.5-2.5 hours a week.  Her regular class is 1.5 hours long and then there is another class she sometimes picks up.  The house has dance shoes and bobby pins everywhere. 

Co-op is going okay.  Still not thrilled with things there.  Jane is still doing great in geometry and literature.  Once in awhile, she'll get stuck in geometry, but so far I've been able to help; sometimes by just guiding her to find the answer.  In literature, they just finished reading Hound of the Baskervilles and now they are reading Frankenstein.  She is whipping through them and does great in class and with the study guides and tests.  Chemistry is a different story!  She and I both hate it.  It makes our brain hurt....I'm not kidding.  Marty, my husband, said at the outset of homeschooling that he would be no help in science, so we are on our own.  Fortunately, the text is really good; it's Apologia science, Exploring Creation with Chemistry so it's a very student friendly text.  We are muddling through and every month that goes by, we say a little prayer of thanksgiving (and add a prayer for help for the next month).

Ruth is doing awesome.  She has finished her reading comprehension and her religion book on saints and her geography on eastern europe.  At co-op for geography we are studying the states, capitols, and identify continents and countries.  She is midway through her social studies, finished her science, and will finish her 4th grade math by the end of January.  Her english is moving slowly, but that's because I'm keeping her on pace with the co-op class.  In January, she'll begin a new science, new geography, new reading comprehension and 5th grade math.  Right now, Ruth is not liking piano, but that's because our teacher had the girls learn a trio on the piano that they are going to play for the recital and it's not going so well.  I think once that is over, she'll make friends with piano again.  She generally loves it.

I have been trying to get back into sewing.  I am sewing some elastic-waist sleep pants for Sam.  They are soft cotton flannel and have two pockets.  Everything is cut out and one whole leg is done and the pocket is sewn onto the second leg.  I am honestly not sure it's worth the effort.  Somehow, if I finish, I imagine that the endeavor will bring me a sense of accomplishment.  We'll see.

The house is a disaster.  The chore chart failed miserably.  I can't help but wonder if I had started with the house all clean, would that have made a difference?  I don't know.  No one seems to care but me.  I look at it (it being any room in the house) and sigh.  Then, one time, Jane came up and said, "What's wrong, mom?"  I sadly replied, "Just look at this mess.  When am I ever going to get it cleaned up?  It's horrible."

"It's not horrible, mom.  It's a happy, busy home!" said sweet Jane.  I looked at her and said, "Really?  Is that what you see?"  She smiled and nodded.  I'm gonna go with that....that sounds good.  Not sure that it's true, but I like it!

I'm still working 7:30-4:00 on Monday's and Wednesday's and teaching at the co-op on Friday mornings.  I still work at the dance school on Saturdays 9-1pm and it all seems to be working.  Sam's doing great his senior year.  Martin got a new, better job and is making plans to get back to school.  Leo will come home for the holidays this weekend.  There.  Now you're all caught up!

Reality Check

So, as it turns out, it's not enough to have a chore chart.  You have to actually look at it and then DO IT!  I think we stuck to it for one blessed week and I was so excited and thought, "Wow, this is really working."  I don't know what happened.  Life I guess.  We still try and I guess the benefit is that it got us all thinking that chores are not just for Saturdays anymore.  Overall, I'd say the house is staying cleaner, but I was hoping we'd stick to it long enough that it would become a habit.  Still striving; haven't given up yet!!

Our recent excitement has been a third dog.  Our son, Martin, found a stray and brought him home.  He is a pit bull and after referring to him as "the dog," I finally started calling him Bullet.  He had a wound that looked like he may have been hit by a bullet and he had been cared for but somehow gotten loose.  He was not micro chipped.  It's been a little traumatic.  We all fell in love with him; so sweet and gentle.  Our two dogs (both males) loved him as well which is miraculous, really.  Manny, our older dog, is the dominant one and loves other dogs, but Rocky does not like other dogs.  Rocky took to Bullet right away, though.  He was just SO BIG!  Marty and I prayed about it and both discussed ways we could make it work.  We kept him in the basement and hooked him up outside as often as possible.  It's funny how God answers prayers sometimes.  Over the last weekend, I just kept thinking, "I can't see this dog in my house.  It would be a train wreck." and went to bed Sunday night (early) praying about and thinking that we had to let him go.  Monday morning, as Marty was saying goodbye to go to work he said, "I think we need to take Bullet to a shelter."  I agreed.  Later that day, about lunch time, I get a call from the girls.  They are both upset, Ruth is crying.  Apparently, Bullet chewed up some stuff in the basement and peed in the basement (first time that had happened).  He also broke the lead in the backyard and the girls were beside themselves about what to do.  Marty went home to deal with the situation and calm the girls down, but boy, that made it abundantly clear that it just wasn't working.  Marty and Ruth took Bullet to a shelter that night.  It was difficult for all of us.  We had him just 10 days and we all loved him, but the reality was that we were not the best place for him. 

Co-op is going well.  I enjoy the classes I teach and the girls seem to enjoy their classes, too.  Ruth loves her art class and tells me I'm doing great with English and Geography (okay, she finds geography boring, but she said she is having "fun" in english!).  Jane loves her Geometry and Literature; not so fond of Chemistry!  I told her that's perfectly normal for most of us, just get through it.  I still struggle with whether co-op is helping more than it is hindering.  I guess the reality is that the girls enjoy it and especially for Jane, it is very helpful with her high school level courses.  I really enjoy learning along side her, but not having all the weight on my shoulders.  I guide her when she's stuck and help her to discern when it is time to ask the teacher for help.

Facing reality helps us to put aside what we want so we can see what is best.  I would love a cleaner, neater house, but the reality is that life is messy and it's not time for that right now so why stress about it.  We just keep trying to stay on top of it.  We all wanted to be the family that kept Bullet, but the reality is that would not have been in Bullet's best interest.  We did the right thing by that dog and often that is the hard, selfless thing to do.  Boy, wouldn't I love to not go to co-op on Fridays, but the reality is that it is good for all of us and we make good contributions there; so we go.  It's good to do a reality check when things are not working or when things feel uncomfortable.  Wishing you peace amidst your reality!!



 

About Those Bloody Chores!

Marty and I have tried to teach our kids personal responsibility.  From the age of about 3, we expect the kids to clear their own dishes from the table.  Our 4 year olds empty the utensils from the dishwasher; it's a great sorting activity for pre-schoolers (we use a stool so they can easily see into the utensil drawer and we empty any sharp knives).  At 5 years old, they can clean the front of the dishwasher, oven and refrigerator; spray windex and give them a couple of paper towels and they go to it.

Our kids have always been expected to do certain things like pick up after themselves, help set table, pitch in with yard work, help with grocery shopping and putting groceries away, and changing linens/make beds (I have to admit that I don't expect their beds to be made every morning, just what I call "straightened" and we make beds when company is coming).  As the kids grew up, we "assigned" certain chores.  The younger kids were expected to unload the dishwasher, clean bathroom sinks and toilets, and vaccum.  The older kids (usually starting freshman year) are responsible for taking the trash out which used to be twice a week, but is now only once a week.  As a junior or senior, I taught them how to do the laundry.  We used to do all these chores on Saturday mornings and the house would get cleaned up in no time.

This system worked until about the time Leo (our second oldest) went away to college.  Also, with me working Saturday mornings, it's just not happening.  We've been limping along with a system that no longer works.  Now, it's time to develop a new system.  The plan is to have a weekly schedule so things get done weekly, but not all on one day.  I figure that if five people take 10-20 minutes a day to do chores, that makes a big difference in the cleanliness of the house.  So, I made a color-coded chart that shows who does what on each day.  I'm excited!  I hope it will help us stay on top of the mess.  It sure can't hurt!!  Here's a picture of the rudimentary chart.  I hope you can read it; I'm new at this:)  Marty is at the top, in blue; followed by me in pink; Sam is orange; Jane is green and Ruth is purple.

The girls and I have the most chores, so it seems a little sexist.  However, when the boys were younger, they did the same chores the girls are now doing.  As they get older, they learn more about contributing to the household.  Sam is in his senior year with no less than 8 college credits to pass this year and working 15 hours a week at the grocery store.  He also buys and shares groceries and pays for gas.  My college age boys are also generous and contribute in ways that make me proud.  They do their own laundry and pitch in wherever they see a need and that is so gratifying to see.  As for my husband, well, his "Honey, do" list is never-ending!  In the end, it's about teaching that everyone pitches in whatever they have to offer.  Many hands make light work, right?  Right!

Summer's End

"Mom, did you know..." Follow that with any fact about birds and that's what I hear almost daily.  Ruth is focusing on science this month.  We've been back at school since August 5th.  I gave her the Apologia science book and just said, "Here, read this cover to cover."  She can't wait to tell me the stuff she's learning.  For instance, why the Dodo bird went extinct, how birds fly, how banding birds came about (something about King Henry IV and his pet Peregrines) and how birds mark their territory.  She is just consuming that book and I couldn't be happier.  She is picking and choosing what experiments interest her and we are doing just those.  After Labor Day, she'll be back to school full time, but right now it's just her science, math, and penmanship.

Jane is focusing on her algebra.  At the co-op this year she'll be taking chemistry, geometry and literature.  At home she will be doing history, typing, sewing, and religion.  She recently checked out a movie from the library called "Ballerina."  It was a documentary on 4 ballerinas and their rising careers.  At the end of the film (mostly subtitled because they all spoke french or russian) Jane tells me she wants to learn all about the famous ballerinas and famous ballets.  She says she's going to research it and write a paper on it.  Awesome!  I was so happy to hear her WANT to do a paper on something!  I so often have doubts about what we are doing, but then, along comes a moment.....and you are reassured, rewarded, re-inspired.

Speaking of doubts....I had many last year.  I had mapped out our lesson plan for my first year homeschooling a freshman and then took a "temporary" part-time job working two days a week!  That really threw the whole schedule off and I wondered if I was doing a good job at anything.  Jane is the one who continually works hard to convince me that it's okay.  In many ways, she is braver and stronger than I am!  This year, I am still working, but at least I get to plan for it.

I've planned to simplify our schedule.  I will still work Mondays and Wednesdays, except I'll have the third week of every month off.  We have co-op on Friday mornings from 9-12noon.  Piano lessons will be on Wednesdays while I'm at work.  That leaves us with Tuesdays and Thursdays completely free.  Jane will be dancing 5 times a week (7 if you count her demonstrating classes) and Ruth twice a week.  Any doctor's appointments, etc. will be scheduled on Thursdays or on Friday afternoons.  I'll also be working at the girls dance center on Saturdays from 9-1p.m.  All in all, I am excited that this year is more planned, organized and simplified.

Marty, Jane, and I are going to put together a list of household chores and a schedule of when they need to be done and by whom.  I have got to get on top of the house cleaning.  Sam has really urged me to have a garage sale this year.  Marty and I cleaned out the garage and already there is stuff on tables, cleaned and ready to go.  We will clean out the basement as well and that will add to the size of the garage sale AND to the cleanliness of our house!  Then I've got some rearranging to do on the main floor and I'll feel like I'm on top of it....finally.  With the money we make at the garage sale, we are going to go to Six Flags in October.  I can't wait!  Ruth has never gone and I hope all 7 of us can go (maybe more with girlfriends) but even if it is 3 of our kids, it will be fun. 

Summer is ending and a new school year is underway.  I love this time of year.  I am re-energized and full of hope and new ideas.  I know it won't all work out and time will come when I will be tired, overwhelmed, discouraged, but right now is a good time.  A time to look forward, a time to make plans, a time to savor summer's end!

P.S.  Here's a picture of our fairy garden.  See Mr. Frog?  And the "bird bath" and some strawberry plants. 

Fairy Garden

We made a fairy garden!  Marty took scrap wood and a piece of leftover wood from the garage "siding" and made a raised garden box about 2' x 4'.  He was so happy that it was completely free!  It's about 1' deep and he drilled holes in the bottom for drainage.
 
Jane and Ruth and their cousin John painted the planter with a day and night theme.  One side is dark blue with moon and stars and the other side is light blue with sun and clouds.  It's darling!  In an effort to be "green", I put a bunch of those styrofoam peanuts that have accumulated over the years, in the bottom.  They are lighter than rocks and provide good drainage. Then we filled it with a mixture of dirt, sand and potting soil. 

The best part was putting in the plants and figurines.  We planted strawberries, parsley, bugleweed, a miniature succulent, scottish moss, a pretty flowering trailing vine, daisy moss (it shoots up these darling miniature "daisy" flowers...it's my favorite), spicy basil (it's a "tree"), and some thyme.  Finally, the figurines get placed.  We have three fairies, a little girl laying on her belly, two little girls that are identical (the girls say they're twins, of 'course), a little boy on his belly, a little girl sitting with her feet dangling; she sits on the edge of something.  They also got a bird bath, bunny and raccoon.  We laid some interesting looking rocks in the dirt and some other "treasures" we've found in the yard.  One of the fun things about living in a century home (133 years, actually) is that they used to burn their trash.  They'd dig a whole in the back and fill it with all kinds of trash and burn it and fill it back in with dirt.  We continue to find bits of pottery, dishes, old glass bottles and china doll pieces - treasures for our fairies!  I don't know who is having more fun, the girls or me! 

This summer I'll be watching the daughter of a friend of mine on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays.  She is a year younger than Ruth and my girls just love her.  Her name is Emma.  Jane said last night that she knows it's really summer when Emma starts coming over; what a sweet thought!  I'm sure Emma will enjoy the fairy garden and her family has a backyard pool, so sometimes we go over there and swim.  It's wonderful:)

We are in school over the summer, but I consider it fun school.  Ruth will be learning about plants in June.  See how tricky I am?  The fairy garden isn't just for fun!  Ruth is also helping her Aunt Karen with her garden.  My sister and her husband have a fairly large garden in their backyard and Ruth got to help Aunt Karen plant the radishes and beans.  Over the summer, Ruth will continue to help with weeding and harvesting.  In total they've planted, radishes, beans, squash, corn, tomatoes, peppers and a host of other things I couldn't identify.  Plenty of hands on learning!!

Jane will be doing math and history over the summer.  I'm so proud of her.  She is really taking charge of her education and doing a good job.  It's not perfect (what is?) but she is learning, maturing and being very sensible.  It's her plan to work on her math, history and reading some classics over the summer.  The trick now is for her to follow through.  I'm still working over the summer and the beautiful weather is a temptation!  She doesn't have trouble doing her school work, she just doesn't always work as hard or long as she should.  I think that's like most 15 year olds!

One of the benefits of my working part-time is the girls' relationship.  They've always been the best of friends, but now it seems like they've developed a part of their relationship that is all their own.  I never thought any two sisters could be better friends than I am with my 3 sisters, but I think Jane and Ruth are actually closer!  It was always one of the things that I liked about homeschooling; it really provides the time and opportunity to strengthen family bonds.  I used to build into our daily schedule time for all 5 of them to play together and time for them to have one-on-one time with each of their siblings.  I'll never regret that; striving to build strong bonds between my kids.  Now with my working, Jane and Ruth have a real care-taking relationship that is beautiful to see. 

We bought a painting eleven or twelve years ago.  It's a picture of an older home with a red roof, a porch, some trees and flowers around it.  At the bottom it says:

                            Dishes done; papers read
                                   Children snuggled into bed.
                            Hours past the setting sun,
                                   I count my blessings, one by one.

Well, I don't know about the dishes being done or even the kids in bed (those dang teenagers!), but counting my blessings could keep me up all night! 

Time to Simplify

It's May and I'm thinking about next school year.  I say 'next' even though we go year around, because things always change in the fall with my boys who are in school.  I really need to simplify my life next year.  Jane will be taking co-op classes on Fridays.  Chemistry, American History, Sewing and Public Speaking is what we think, but the schedule is not definite yet.  They are going to start offering classes for 4th-6th grade and I'm going to teach English (Rod n Staff Publishers) and possibly spelling for the 4th-6th graders.  So, Friday is full!

My boss has told me she is so pleased with the 3 of us job-sharing the front desk that she has no intention of changing the arrangement.  Who saw that coming?  I did!  It's a blessing really, but that means Monday and Wednesday are full!  That leaves Tuesdays and Thursdays and I'm going to ask Jane not to demonstrate dance on those days.  We NEED two quiet days at home just focusing on our school work.  I'm going to move piano to Monday or Wednesday while I'm at work.  It happened a couple of times that we had to make up a missed lesson and it really worked out fine.  I think it actually goes better because Miss Linda and I don't chat as much (can't chat if I'm not there:).

If Jane stays at the Ballet 2 level and Ruth moves to Dance 4, then Ruth will be able to take class when Jane's in class.  That should clear 1, maybe 2, nights.  Whew!  That would be GREAT!  It will just be nice to be able to plan a little bit this year.  Getting this part-time job at the last minute kept us scrambling to keep up the rest of the year.  I think we've done well, though.

It would be great if I could work at the dance studio at times when the girls are there.  That would definitely simplify things.  But that may be asking for too much; I may have to stick with my Saturday mornings at studio 3. 

I've decided not to put Jane in that other co-op.  It would just add another day away.  So, again, in the name of simplifying, we will just do the courses at the co-op she's already in.  In order to simplify, I also got someone to be my "buddy" at the soup kitchen.  A woman named Martha (how appropriate, Martha and Mary) will help me with the ovens.  This takes a little pressure off me and allows me to be able to more easily miss soup kitchen with a built-in back up.  Also, I'm ready for the homeschool conference next year.  I'll be vendor coordinator next year, but not without another mom to help me.  Again, simplifying my life.

God is teaching me to take things as they come....one step at a time.  So much that I worry about has to do with the unknown future.  I can learn to leave that in God's hands and just deal with the moment at hand.  Doesn't mean I shouldn't try to plan for next year; just that I need not worry about it.  Today, right now, all is good and I am richly blessed.  Simple.

Frequently Asked Questions

Over the years, I've been asked a lot of questions about homeschooling.  There are a few that come up quite often that I thought I'd address here.

Time Management:  Again, I really like the Managers of their Homes (link at the bottom of my blog) system. You have to be careful not to let the schedule rule you; it's a tool to aid you not a task master.  It really helped me organize all the things that needed to be done in a day.  It helped me plan time for the kids to have one on one time with me and with each other.  No two days are ever the same.  If your house is like mine, there are constant interruptions.  The schedule helps to keep the focus, re-center during the chaos.  I had to stuggle to not let the schedule become another stress for me (Oh, no! We didn't follow the schedule all day!  Oh, no! It's 12:30 and we're not ready for lunch!) but overall, it was a huge help.

How do you get your kids to do their school work?  That's usually followed by, "I can't get mine to do homework!"  It's different.  Your kids know that you are in charge of their education and they will respect that.  I'm not saying they don't push the limits, but it is different than what you experience with homework.  Having said that, you do have to establish discipline and be consistent.  Your children will rise to your expectations, so aim high!

How do you keep the house clean?  There are several ways to keep on top of chores.  In most homes, regardless of how the kids are educated, kids have chores.  If every child has 15 minutes of chore time in the morning and 15 minutes of chores in the evening, that's a lot of chores.  Done on a daily basis, with a rotating schedule it is very do-able.  We usually had assigned chores that changed from year to year.  Some people have a chore jar filled with slips of paper that have a 15-minute chore on it.  At chore time, everyone grabs a slip of paper out of the jar and does the chore on it.  The chores are like 'wipe clean all the switch plates in the house'/'shake out the scatter rugs'/'dust the piano'/ 'brush the dogs/cats'.  That used chore paper goes in a drawer until the jar is empty and then they start over. Bigger chores are done on Saturday.  Some families have 20 minutes before bedtime every night.  A timer is set and for 20 minutes everyone in the family picks up, dusts, vacuums.  Then it's pajamas, story time and off to bed.  That helps to keep on top of the mess.

Again, the Managers of their Homes system is very useful in addressing time management and how to get it all done and not feel frazzled.  The key, I think, is to run your home like a business.  Have a list of things to do, projects, etc.  Delegate, delegate, delegate.  Kids want to be useful and can do much; it doesn't have to fall on one person.  In the end, they learn valuable life skills and time management.

Do we school in our pajamas?  We do not.  I know some families do, but I never did.  I always told my kids that what you are wearing, the lighting, how you are sitting, all those things tell your brain something.  I expected my kids to 'come to the table a willing student' and that meant dressed for the day.  Some years, we even tried uniforms, but that didn't work well.  It just became another thing to wash, keep track of, nag them about, etc.  On rare occassions when several of us were sick, or on a big thunderstorm day we would stay in our pj's and do our school in the living room.  Mostly, we got dressed.  Which leads me to another question people frequently ask:

Do we have a set time that we start or finish? Second to that, how long does it take us?  I did have a set time to meet at the table for school.  It was and still is 8:00a.m.  Some families start with morning mass; we seldom did that, but some people need that 'appointment' to get everyone going.  We did/do have prayers every day and often prayed the rosary with special intentions. 

The length of time varies.  The older the kids get, the longer their schooling takes.  And I know families that play in the morning and school in the afternoon.  I know families that got up earlier than we did and yet got to their school work later than we did.  Certainly, homeschoolers can finish their school work in less time than in a traditional school setting. But the goal is not to be quick, but thorough and well-rounded.

This is the end of this series on my thoughts and experiences with homeschooling.  I hope what I've communicated is that homeschoolers are a diverse group of people.  There are many ways to homeschool and my best advice to anyone considering homeschooling is to find what works for your family.  The best way to do that, of'course, is to allow God to be your guide.  He will never steer you wrong.

"I am the vine, you are the branches." Jesus says, "If you remain in Me and I in you, the same brings forth great fruit."  John 15:5

If you homeschool, then...

...you must never yell at your children.  I'm not saying that as an order, I'm saying that as an assumption.  Over the years, many people have said things to me upon finding out that I homeschool.  So in this post, I wish to sort out the fact from myth.  As to this particular one, it is a myth.  A mom once told me she could never homeschool because she new she would yell at her kids.  WHAT????  (That's what happened in my head.)  WHAT??? She thinks I never yell at my kids????  Ummm... I have yelled at my kids..and do.  It's not something I'm proud of; but there it is.  Sometimes, I lose my patience and I yell.  My kids will tell you that I have oft said, "Why do people yell? Because they feel they are not being listened to!!"  I say this during my rant.  So, sorry to take that reason for not homeschooling away, but homeschoolers may, might, shouldn't, but do, sometimes yell at their kids.

...you must have a degree in education.  This kept me from homeschooling for many years.  I thought I was unqualified.  What it takes to manage a classroom in our school system is very different from what it takes to educate your kids at home.  In addition, you have the teacher books as an aid and can buy complete curriculums and lesson plans, if you want.  It's been 12 years since I started and there is so much available on-line now.  No teacher has all the knowledge in his/her head.  There may be some states that require that, but I'm not aware of them.  Contact your local chapter of HSLDA to find out.

....you are superwoman.  This one always makes me feel uncomfortable.  SO many people I meet, upon learning that we homeschool, go on about how wonderful I am, how amazed they are, how they could never do what I do.  I'm no more superwoman than they are.  I remember the first year we homeschooled I was so relieved.  I hated following the school schedule from the time Martin was 4 years old and went to pre-school 3 days a week.  Hated it!  Life was so much more peaceful marching to the beat of our own drum.  So, to me, all the other women out there are superwomen.  Kids in school, jobs, extra-curricular activities; I don't know how YOU do it.  I can assure you that I have never met a homeschool mom who feels like superwoman.  So, let's just agree that we all spend our time the way that works best for our families and leave it at that. 

...your kids must be socially awkward.  My personal favorite. (heavy sigh) My first and last word on this is: where you are educated does NOT make you socially awkward. If you think about it, there are socially awkward kids in school and socially adept kids that homeschool.  If you find a higher percentage of socially awkward kids among homeschoolers, it may be because the families choose to homeschool rather than subject their kids to being bullied in school.  Also, don't confuse socialization with counter-cultural.  Many homeschoolers don't watch a lot of television.  Their kids may not have cell phones.  That makes them counter-cultural, not socially awkward.  As a society, with our collective mind, we reject those who are different, especially in the teen years.  So maybe your kids are socially awkward or maybe they're just counter-cultural , but feel free to homeschool in either case!

....your kids must be super smart.  Countless people respond with that.  They've heard all the stories of spelling bee winners, geography bee winners and 15 year olds ready for college.  I guess that does happen.  Not in our homeschool though.  I told my husband before we began homeschooling that one thing I did not want to do is have kids ready for college at 15 or 16 years old.  I believe my kids, and your kids, are the students they are and we have very little affect on that.  I'm NOT saying that parents can't/don't influence their children's education.  That would be silly!  I'm just saying that those high-achievers would have been high-achievers wherever they were educated.  Certainly, ALL the winners of the spelling/geography bees are not homeschooled.  Homeschooling doesn't produce brilliance anymore than it produces social awkwardness.  It is true that with homeschooling, kids learn to advance at their own pace.  If they have a passion, they have more time to develop it.  Those things are true.  But not every homeschooled kid is super smart.

....your house will be messy.  I'm afraid that is probably true.  No matter who you are, unless you are superwoman, the level of cleanliness will probably be less than it would be if your kids went to school.  This is true for two reasons, first, because your kids are home and second, you have a full time job.  Homeschooling is a full-time job.  It doesn't have 9-5 hours, but it takes up time and energy like a full-time job would.  There are ways to keep on top of the house and I'll talk about that later.

....your kids must not have learning disabilities.  While it's true that some learning disabilities or behavior issues require professional help, it is also true that many families homeschool BECAUSE they have a child (children) with a learning disability.  I have a child with dyslexia.  Homeschooling allows for one on one attention, tailor made curriculum, and flexibility.  A active child can get up and do 10 minutes of jumping jacks if need be.  Or a child mastering the times table can do so while riding their scooter or swinging on the swing.  Parents of kids with disabilities do homeschool because it allows for more flexibility and for the child to move at their own pace.

....you must be a religious zealot or government paranoid.  I'm neither and I've met many other parents who are neither of those things.  Of'course, you can find religious zealots and people who are paranoid about the government but it is not a prerequisite.  Many families do homeschool in order to better pass on their beliefs in God, but there are also secular homeschool groups that do not want to be associated with any religion.  Although there was a time when homeschoolers fit more neatly into a 'box,' I believe the variety of homeschoolers today is as large as the variety of families all around the world. 

....you must have LOTS of patience.  Well, you'd have to ask my kids about that.  It's probably true that homeschooling teaches you patience, but that's true of parenting.  That's how I look at it.  Parenting requires patience and working with your kids on their homework requires patience.  Heck, eating dinner with your kids requires patience.  If you believe yourself to be a person who is short on patience, don't let that stop you from homeschooling.  When I find myself short on patience, I check my expectations and adjust my attitude.  Usually, I'm expecting too much from my kids or myself.

....your kids will be too dependent on you.  That's the complete opposite of the objective of homeschooling.  As homeschoolers, we are trying to teach our children how to teach themselves.  As a homeschooling mom, you will become frazzled if you allow your children to depend on you too much.  I've heard comments from teachers at my boys' high school about how the homeschooled kids tend to work ahead.  That's more like it!

....you must be having a lot of fun.  Well, that's hard to argue with!  I used to tell my husband that if we're not having fun, we're done homeschooling.  I'm still homeschooling.  There are good times and bad, but overall, I love the memories we've created and the fun we've had.  It is a lifestyle and I'm glad God called us to it.  It's certainly an adventure!!

My next post in this series will be my last in this series.  I will address some questions that I've gotten over the years.  I hope you had a happy St. Patrick's Day, a blessed Lenten season, and I hope you have a Happy Holy Week!

Why Choose What

This is a post about curriculums I've used and what has worked for me.  Keep in mind that there are tons of good choices out there and you have to find what works for you.  More importantly, you have to find what works for each child.  When choosing curriculum you will have to consider what kind of teaching method you are going to use, your child's learning style, and also consider the content of the books (do you support what it is teaching).

Preschool and kindergarten:  This is a great time to unschool.  We mostly played games, sang songs, explored the world.  The key at this age is to have fun.  Ask your school district what they expect kids to know by the end of kindergarten.  Usually, they need to know their name, address, phone number, the alphabet (saying it and recognizing letters), counting to 10, and shapes and colors.  These are minimums.  I used Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons with Sam, Jane, and Ruth and loved it. If you have multiple kids, the older kids are great teachers!  Chances are your child will soar with your loving attention!

Religion:  The Bible.  Read from it to your kids.  Read a few verses in the morning, at lunch, after dinner.  Pick a favorite book; Genesis, Acts, Letter from James, a gospel, and read it, verse by verse, over and over.  The repetition is good and it will give each semester or school year a focus.  I have also picked different prayers that we memorize by praying them either in the morning or at lunch.  Some people go to daily mass and begin each day that way.  We prayed around our school table in the mornings.  Sometimes, informal prayers and sometimes the rosary.  As the kids get older, I think it is great to just take the Catechism and study it.  So many Catholics don't even know what the Church teaches and to read the catechism is to discover that She is beautiful.

Math:  I start out with ABeka 1st-3rd and then switch to Saxon in 4th grade.  The earlier Saxon I found boring for the younger kids but the older ABeka wasn't challenging enough.  I love the younger ABeka because the lessons have other things incorporated.  Each unit focuses on something like Around the World or Careers.  The lessons are very colorful.  I've heard good things about Math-U-See and tried it briefly with Ruth.  She didn't want to do it, but I've incorporated some of the materials (manipulatives) in her early learning and I think it really helped; we still reference "decimal street."  This is a subject that I don't think a lot of research is warrented.  The biggest factor with math is consistency.  Do it every day.  Drill those math facts and get a good foundation.  I treat math like tithing or my mortgage payment:  it has to be done without fail.

English:  I've used Rod -n- Staff for english all these years and I can't say enough good things about it.  It is published by the Amish folks.  It is very practical.  The student has a text, workbook, test book and you have ONE teacher book.  That's huge; I love that.  My teacher book has the same page number that the student's are on.  It has exactly what the teacher is supposed to say and each lesson begins with an oral review. Answers to review questions are on the same page, and answers to worksheets and tests are in the back. Whew!  I wish they would all do that!  Also, I have warm memories of my kids cracking up when they would read sentences like, 'Dorcas has been baking all day.'  A little levity is lovely!*

Science:  Apologia.  Period.  Love it and wish I had used it all these years.  I used some ABeka, some LifePac, and others.  I've always had a hard time picking a science curriculum.  I admit, I had seen apologia science and didn't use it because it looked so boring.  Well, shame on me.  Lesson learned.  Not only can you not judge a book by it's cover, you can't judge a book by glancing at it's pages!  It was just SO much writing and few pictures.  If I were a kid, that text would not excite me.  But I've taken three kids through it (and plan to take Ruth, as well) and they consumed it. Sam was the second kid I took through it and when I mapped out the lesson plan for that year I planned on skipping a couple of sections because I felt they dealt with things he'd already learned.  He liked the text so much he decided he didn't want to skip any of it and he did the extra reading to fit them in.  I only wish I had taken my oldest through it, too!  It's outstanding.

History:  I have never found a history curriculum I liked well enough to use repeatedly or to recommend.  In the primary grades I used How Our Nation Began (1st-3rd grade appropriate) and The Evangelization of the New World (2nd-4th, maybe 5th grade) and felt these were excellent texts for primary history.  I used ABeka for some history as well.  Sadly, much beyond 5th or 6th grade, the curriculum turns decidely anti-catholic.  I tried Rod -n- Staff, but they too spend a great deal of time teaching their students how awful catholics are.  (That's a whole seperate post!)  Anyway, there is a curriculum out there for history that is based on developing a timeline.  I think if I had it to do over, I would choose that.  We did a couple of history timelines over the years and the kids always responded well.  They were excited about doing them and learned from and remember them.  Mostly, I've used the library, our encyclopedias, and research on the internet (supervised, of'course) to teach the kids history and that has seemed to work.

Spelling:  LOTS of choices here. I now use Seton for spelling and penmanship.  Beautiful books with faith woven in every page.  This is a subject, though, that requires a lot of trial and error.  My best advice is to try things and give them a chance before you throw in the towel.  Too much switching can be detrimental.  Honestly, I think reading and writing is the best way to improve spelling.  That being said, I think you still need a curriculum and I believe that this is the subject I've thrown away the most money on.  For me, the best formula is: new list (perhaps pre-test) on Monday, exercises with the words on Tu-W-Th and test on Friday.  If a curriculum doesn't follow that methodology, I don't look at it anymore.

Literature:  One thing we did that we all liked was reading at lunch time.  Lunch had the potential to bring chaos to our world.  It was distressing to me to end our morning studies only to have the kids run around like maniacs and leave me wondering why we were doing this homeschool thing.  So, very early on, I decided I would read to them at lunch.  I had heard that reading to kids is a very great discipline.  It teaches kids focus, imagination, and how to sit still.  I think we started with the Harry Potter series; it was Martin's suggestion.  All the kids in school had been talking about it (the first 5 or so books were already out) and he thought maybe we should give it a try.  Soon, we read that at night (so Daddy could hear, too) and I read Little Women at lunch.  Yes, Little Women and my "little men" loved it.  They couldn't wait for the next day to hear more and would beg me to keep reading.  No one was more surprised than me, but a good book is a good book.  We read the Series of Unfortunate Events, Charlottes Web, Treasure Island, Magic Tree House books, The Boxcar Children, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, Ella Enchanted, The Little Princess, and many more I can't think of right now.  Daily routine and practice helps to train children and with homeschooling you can maximize those opportunities. 

I would be remiss if I did not mention my Emma Serl books.  They were books that were mentioned by Laura Berquist in her book, Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum and I have used them with all 5 of my kids and I will never sell them.  These are old books not easily found and they teach basic english grammar and what I especially love is the memorization exercises.  Sprinkled throughout the books (there are two, primary and intermediate) are poems for memorization.  My kids have memorized many a poem and I believe they are better for having done so.  It's a good exercise for their brain (memorization is an integral part of a classical education) and I know that those good words are in their hearts.

Now, a word on testing.  Many homeschoolers are wholeheartedly against testing.  I don't really understand why so I can't speak to that.  If a curriculum I buy comes with testing, we will use the tests.  Maybe not religiously, but it's ususally built into my lesson plan.  As far as standarized testing, I did test my kids once in a while.  Really, for my own sake.  I just needed to know they were on track and I wasn't missing anything.  Then, as they approached high school, I tested them because the high schools want to see the test results.  Testing is a tool.  Nothing is all bad or all good, so use tests as a guide and not as a task master.

I have really labored over this post.  I'm not sure I'm happy with it still.  No one can really give you advice on curriculum.  For every person you find that swears by a curriculum, I can show you a person that hated it.  My advice, as always, is to pray about it.  Talk to people, go to the conferences, look on-line and then take a leap of faith and dive in.  As a homeschooler your job is to provide opportunities.  Use the library, use encyclopedias, take field trips, join clubs and your kids will learn.  Remember, as homeschoolers you're teaching your children how to be lifelong learners.  You are teaching them how to teach themselves.  Trust yourself and your child's ability to learn and enjoy the adventure!

* My apologies if your name is Dorcas.

Teaching Methods

I'm not an expert on teaching methods.  I'm not even a good reference.  The best I can do is to tell you what to research.  I wish when we were making the decision to homeschool, I had taken a little more time (any time would have been more) researching what the different methods were. 

We went to the Catholic homeschool conference in our area, which took place in March.  There was a speaker there by the name of Laura Berquist.  She is the author of the book Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum.  We went to her talks and I really enjoyed her.  After wandering around being thoroughly overwhelmed by all the curriculum choices I finally bought her book, went to the section where she recommends curriculum for each grade level, and bought what she recommended for the grades we had that first year.  Although I liked everything I got, it was a stupid way to choose curriculum. 

In hindsight, I had more time.  We weren't starting our homeschool till the following September.  That's six whole months.  I could have perused the books at the conference and then researched types of teaching and then purchased on-line.  I just felt so overwhelmed by all the choices and no idea of where to start. Now, I know that the best place to start is to define how you are going to educate your kids.  See, I didn't even know that there were different ways to homeschool.  I'll give you the little information I have and then you can do more research about the methods and that might help give you a starting point for curriculum.

Classical teaching is designed to teach to the developemental stage of the child.  The 3 stages, called the Trivium are: grammar, logic and rhetoric.  When you use this training, your kids may appear to lag behind their peers in traditional school at first.  However, when they hit middle and especially high school, they will take off and excel.  I have employed some of this ideology and I believe it has helped my kids.  I've known homeschoolers who teach classical and it is always impressive.  If I could have a do-over, I think I would try to do classical all the way.  It's an excellent education.

Unschooling is another choice that I personally was not able to pull off.  Do your research on this.  Talk to other homeschoolers who unschool and really understand the methodology before beginning.  It is my impression that families are unschoolers.  In other words, it's how the parents are; they can't help it.  Their whole approach to life and their lifestyle is conducive to unschooling.  Often, they travel a lot and are very adventurous and their kids are the big benefactors.  Unschooling is simply learning while living.  They use books a lot, just not textbooks so much.

Two other methods are Montessori and Waldorf.  I know a very little about both.  Montessori is child led.  What is the child interested in and then imerse them in things to broaden their learning about it.  Waldorf is, I believe, based in the arts; using the arts to teach.  There are Montessori and Waldorf schools that offer classes for homeschoolers as enrichment, but these methods can also be used at home.  While montessori education has been around a long time and there are formal schools that use this method, Waldorf is relatively new and slightly controversial.  Again, do your research first.

Finally, the traditional method of schooling needs little explaining.  You use textbooks, workbooks, and test and you cover the four R's - Religion, Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic - plus spelling and history and grammar and science, etc.  You sit at the table and do lessons and have seat work, etc.  This is mostly what I have done while also doing some unschooling activities and employing some classical techniques.  A very ecclectic approach.  I would, after 12 years of homeschooling, recommend you NOT bring the classroom home.  I wish someone had told me that 12 years ago.  The decision to homeschool opens a door, a big door.  There are so many opportunities and resources available.  Don't feel you have to bring the traditional classroom experience you had growing up (or your kids have had if they are in school) home.  I don't think I totally did that, but I spent too much time trying.  If you choose to homeschool, you're already unconventional, non-traditional, counter-cultural.  If you don't fit in the box at traditional school, why try to fit in the box at home?

So, pray about it.  Seek God's guidance.  Do lots of research.  Talk to multitudes of people and when you and your spouse decide how your homeschool is going to be....know that it will change!  Find a starting point but be flexible.  Know that your family will grow and change and that tomorrow is always a surprise.

Next time, a little more specifics on what I've used, why I've used it or not used it, and what you need to consider when choosing curriculum.  I've also recently been asked about testing, especially in the elementary years, so I'll touch on that next time.

Interlude

I felt the need to have a little interlude in my series, Focus on the Decision to Homeschool.  After all, life at my homeschool continues with new daily challenges and triumphs.  At the top of my list of things to report is my oldest daughters reading.  If you are a follower, you'll know that getting sweet Jane to read what I want her to read is a bit of a struggle (like pulling dandelions!).

For her biology class at the co-op, the teacher had the kids read a book called Darwin's Black Box by Michael Behe.  It is an impressive book.  Not small and dealing with the theory of evolution as viewed from the bio-chemistry field.  I've read perhaps 3 chapters and it was not easy.  Jane has read the whole thing AND written a very nice summary (500 words) of it.  Soooo, apparently, I am incapable to putting enough pressure on her to get the same results. 

However, I have spoken with her and pointed out our struggles (mine really).  I pointed out that if it takes a classroom and teacher to "make" her complete the assignment, perhaps we should revisit our decision.  I pointed out that she is an excellent reader (currently consuming the 8 book Artemis Fowl Series faster than the library can provide them).  I pointed out that in choosing to homeschool, she put me in charge of her education and in doing so, must respect the tasks I assign her.  I pointed out that when her co-op teacher assigned the Darwin book, she was not happy about it.  In the finally analysis, however, she admited that there were redeeming qualities.  She was able to see that she learned from it, found some of it interesting, and was glad she read it.  Is it possible?!?! that she could have the same experience with me???  Perhaps, she could give a book or two that I assign a try?  She might find she likes it!  Mostly, I stressed that if we are going to do this, she is going to have to accept assignments and not just blow off what she doesn't want to do.

Since that conversation, I've had another idea. I think we will change the focus of her blog.  She wrote an outstanding summary of the Darwin book (seems to be a good writer like her brother, Leo) and I thought maybe we will transfer her book list to her blog.  Each time she reads a book, she can review it on her blog.  She can create a star rating system.  She can review her books for school, as well as her leisure books.  She and her friends talk often of the books or series they are reading and often that is where Jane gets ideas for what she's going to read next.

I'm still thinking about this.  It's all in how I present it.  I have to give her options while still making it clear that it is an assignment.  Hopefully, some new, productive changes in the near future.

Ruth is still on track to move into 4th grade in April.  She is doing outstanding in all her subjects except spelling.  Her spelling is....well, horrible and below where it should be.  I blame myself.  I have a really hard time not correcting her spelling in "pleasure" writing.  Which, of'course, makes writing anything but pleasurable.  But, I've made a new resolve to have her write two letters a week and I WILL NOT CORRECT them.  I do have her proof read them and she already (in a about 3 weeks time) is showing great improvement.  She writes to friends and relatives about anything and everything.  We are also focusing on reading comprehension where she has to answer a question after reading an essay.  The answer has to be in paragraph form so it gives her plenty of practice writing, spelling, etc. 

I don't believe I've mentioned, but Jane's sewing class was cancelled.  I am so sad about it, but have to admit that it is nice to have that one day a week that is 'easy.'  Tuesday is now our stay at home, quiet day and I love it!  I've really got to work hard next year to have two days a week like that.

Now, back to my Focus on the Decision!

Curriculum

I hope you are not expecting me to tell you what curriculum to get?  I can't do that.  This post focuses on the different ways you can provide curriculum. 

First, if you decide to unschool, you won't be using curriculum.  Unschoolers use magazines, libraries, lots of reading, educational games, real life experiences.  I know unschoolers who live in a rural setting and have 5 boys. The mother's motto was, "Let them get bored and see what happens."  One summer they built a bridge over the creek; in the winter, they put together a kit car in the garage.  Again, as the parents, you provide the opportunities to learn and then let them.  These 5 young men are college graduates with distinguished careers now.  I never had the guts to unschool; it was just too different for me.  But I admired that family and if you can do it, the kids become life-long learners with great confidence.

More traditionally, there are three ways you can use curriculum to homeschool.  Many families buy a packaged curriculum that comes with all the books you need for a particular grade plus a lesson plan, grading, and record-keeping.  It's basically distance learning.  It takes the pressure off of you, it "feels" more traditional, everything is right there for you.  All of the subjects seem to work together, too.  On the flip side, the lesson plan doesn't allow for your schedule; you'll have to tweak it.  I would struggle not to feel a slave to someone else's timeline.  Also, you are responsible for getting the assignments in for grading and you have to track the hours spent in subjects and then report that for their record keeping, which always seemed like double the work to me (If I am tracking it and writing it down, why am I then sending it to them to put in a ledger? Can't I just do that?).  But if you are a stickler for being "official" this may be the route for you.  If you stick with a particular provider, they provide report cards and certificates/diplomas throughout the years.  Keep in mind, this is also probably the most expensive way to go.

Just short of that, you can buy the curriculum but develop your own lesson plan, grading, and record keeping.  Some homeschoolers purchase the textbooks, workbooks, test booklets, and teacher books from a single provider and then put together their own lesson plan to follow.  Obviously, this will give you more flexibility but you also will have to spend time developing your lesson plan.  I take a few afternoons, usually in May, and go out of the house (sit in a coffee shop or the library) with my calendar, and our textbooks, and map it all out.  It's probably a total of about 20 hours of work for 4 kids.  With just my 2 girls now, it's maybe a 4-6 hour endeavor.  Even though I'm developing my own schedule, it will still end up being tweaked throughout the year.  That's life; at least at our house.  This option is less expensive for two reasons.  One is that you are not paying for the service of planning, grading, and record keeping.  This option also allows more freedom to purchase used curriculum.  If you like the continuity of buying from one provider, but you don't want to answer to someone else, this will be a good option for you.

Finally, some people pick and pull together an ecclectic array of curriculum from different providers.  Sometimes it is hard to find a curriculum provider that you love all of their books; or that your kids love all of their books.  It's a little more work to hand pick, because there is so much to choose from and it takes time to sift through and pick things.  Sometimes, it's frustrating, because you think something looks great or your kids will love it, but it doesn't work out; back to the drawing board.  But this does allow the greatest flexibility for you and your kids.  This is the most labor intensive route, but over the years it gets easier and easier for two reasons.  First, you get to know more curriculum and second, you get to know your kids learning styles better.  So, this is the most labor instensive, but also provides the most flexibility for you and your children.

I find curriculum to be the most stressful part of homeschooling.  Surprising, right?  It takes a lot of time and expense and when I was starting out, I just had no idea where to begin.  It's frustrating to try things and several months into the school year find it's not working.  With five kids, I even find it a little stressful to store all of the curriculum I've gotten over the years.  So, this is just a little post on some starter thoughts about curriculum.  In my next post, I'll address styles of education and a little more about what to consider when choosing curriculum.  I hope some of this is helpful.  I've also tried to add more curriculum links at the bottom of my blog for you to check out.