Learning Together

I just finished reading The Hunger Games; all three books.  Jane BEGGED me to read them after she had finished.  A friend of hers really wanted her to read them and she reluctantly did and then started in on me.  We both loved it!!  We haven't seen the movie of the first book yet; and may not based on what others who have read the book say.

One of the things I most enjoy about homeschooling my kids is learning with them.  Jane has to read a lot of books that I have assigned and that's one of the reasons I read this series; kind of a turn-about's fair play. And because of this arrangement, I have been exposed to so many great books.  AND I like seeing what she's reading.

Often, when people find out that I homeschool, they say how they could never do it because they aren't smart enough.  "I'm so bad at math (or science, or history) that I just wouldn't know how to help them," they say. 

To this I usually reply, "Well, you know, I have the teacher books; I'm not really an expert on all the subjects."  

But further to that, I have learned that it's a great opportunity to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of your kids.  To demonstrate that learning goes on your whole life.  To empower them by allowing them to teach you, the parent.  

I've often heard it said that it is hard for kids, as they grow up, to learn that their parents are not perfect.  Maybe the reality is that it's hard for the parents to be found out?  Maybe part of what stressed me out in the early years of homeschooling was thinking that I needed to have all the answers.  Now I know that I'm only a facilitator, a guide, and I am a more relaxed homeschooler. 

I have read a lot about homeschooling high school and I remember an article a homeschool dad wrote about his college age son.  They had homeschooled him from kindergarten through high school, often, with doubts and questions, but always sticking to the dream.  His now college age son called home from college and was relating to his dad that he just found out about (I can't remember exactly, let's say the Korean War) in one of his classes that day.  The son went on to say that all of the other students couldn't believe that he had never heard of it.  At this point in the article, the dad cringes and says all the doubts and misgivings come back.  He's thinking, "Oh my gosh! How did we never cover that?  What else did we miss?" and on and on.  But all the father says to his son on the phone is, "What did you do?" to which his son replied, "I went to the campus library and looked up everything I could on it and now I know about it."  Picture the dad smiling and all the doubts shot down. 

There will always be things we haven't heard about or learned.  Our goal in educating our kids is to teach them how to learn.  And what better way than to allow them to see us learning.  I'm going to get better at that!

Loose Ends

I was reading some old posts and realized I tend to let things slip.  I wrote about Jane's and my cantankerous relationship and how I have ideas for handling that and then never got back about that. 

What Marty and I came up with is that there has to be natural consequences.  If she has stuff to be completed and doesn't get it done, she doesn't get to do the things she wants.  That might be dance class, watch t.v., go out with friends (yes, my homeschool girl has somehow managed to make a few of those!), or sleep in.  I have to focus on teaching her the discipline of doing what needs to be done and then being free to do what you want.  That is why I have been so pleased lately.  She seems to really be catching on and taking the initiative. 

I can't be nagging, yelling, etc.  That's unpleasant for all of us.  The hard part comes when I see her making a poor choice and I know that she will have to sacrifice something later.  The inclination is to remind her (translate: nag).  She will learn and has learned faster by experiencing the uncomfortableness of her choice and then remembering next time.  I've learned that when I nag and yell (yes, it's shocking, I sometimes yell at my kids!) it becomes about me.

Most of the time, I find that when I am upset with a child of mine and I want to yell at them, it is because I don't want them to have a consequence.  I can see where something is leading...why won't they listen to me so they can avoid a consequence.  That's dumb.  When I see that and realize that's where my frustration is coming from, it's so much easier to choose something else.  I can choose to see those times as opportunities for my kids to grow.  I have to have confidence that they are smart enough to figure it out.  It feels so much more victorious to see them "authentically" learn a valuable lesson.

I'll write more soon.

Things are Looking Up

So, as I expected, we got very little - and by very little, I mean none - school work done Friday.  I had even told the girls that because we got so little done Thursday and Friday, they could expect to have homework over the weekend - no whining!  They didn't balk about it at all; 'course we didn't end up doing homework.  The weekend flew by and no school work was done.  This is when I start doing a number on myself.  My head says, "Why are you homeschooling?  You're not qualified to do this?  They're never going to learn anything!"  I could go on and on but I don't want to bore you; you get the idea.  I have to consciously remind myself of the kids wonderful standardized tests over the years; of the boys successful highschool careers; of the fact that, even in a formal school setting they have assemblies, fire drills, and other such interruptions. 

"Calm down," I say to myself.  That works better now than it did 10 years or ago (or 9 or 8 or, let's face it, even 1 year ago).  It's true.  I am a better homeschool mom every year.  That kind of makes me sad :(
My older kids were like the guinea pigs.  They had a mom who was learning on the fly.  On the bright side, they did great!  They taught ME well!

The very good news is the progess I've seen this week.  As it is summer session, I do not make the girls get up at a certain time.  This is REALLY difficult for me!  However, the girls get up, get dressed, get their breakfast and get to their school work on their own and that is awesome.  This week, Jane in particular has impressed me.  While she is eating her breakfast, she has gotten to her school work.  She has taken the initiative to work ahead in her algebra.  She has gotten 98% or better on her lessons.  She read her history, which she will complete this week even though it was to take her to August 17.  Her history is internet-linked and she has aced all her check-ups!  I have her print them off and will keep them for our records.

I was so impressed with her work ethic yesterday morning and gave her a lot of kudos.  She smiled and said, "I really want to hang out with Erin and Molly this afternoon."  I think she thought that was a poor excuse but I grabbed onto it!  I told her that is what we all need to do.  All through life, we have to get done what NEEDS to be done, so we can do what we WANT to do.  She had homework Monday night and I told her it was her job to remember and get it done and if Tuesday morning came and it wasn't done, she'd have to miss her dance class that night (tuesday is jazz/tap; her favorite).  She got it done.  Things are looking very well indeed!