Not Again!!

It's happened again!  Another person expressing their concern about socialization.  This time, it was a person who I admire and respect.  I'll call her Ms. S.  She knows one of my boys but didn't know he had been homeschooled.  Then she found out that Jane is homeschooling highschool.  I said something about Jane's dance and Ms. S said, "So does she get enough socialization through her dance?"  AARRRGHGHG!

I replied, "People are always concerned about socialization, but it is not something that concerns me."  She jumped in there and said with passion, "It concerns me!"  How disappointed I am to hear this from someone I consider well-educated.  I assume well-educated people are critical thinkers...perhaps I am wrong. 

Critical thinking requires following a thought through.  I calmly replied to Ms. S., "Oh, come on. Think about it; there are kids in traditional school settings who are socially awkward.  Where you are educated is not what defines you socially.  Largely, the parents are the biggest influence in their children's social abilities."  She readily conceded that I had a point and went on to say that my son is "delightful."  Of'course he is, as are all my kids, despite being homeschooled! Imagine that!

I went further with Ms. S and pointed out that if you take any segment of society, you're bound to find socially awkward people.  If there is a greater number of socially awkward kids/families among homeschoolers, it is because they know that they are different and yet are unwilling to change and unwilling to subject their kids to the pain of being "different" in a society that values conformity over individualism.  Some people embrace their awkwardness.  As a homeschooler, I am proud of the fact that I don't think like the rest of society!

Now, as I tell my kids, prejudices/generalizations/bias comes from a truth.  In other words, we find something to often be true and then we form a prejudice, etc. from that basic truth.  The problem is that whatever conclusion we've drawn, is not always correct.  Just because we observe that some homeschoolers are socially awkward, we should not conclude that homeschooling your kids makes them socially awkward.  That would seem to indicate that there are NO socially awkward kids in traditional schools, and NO socially adept kids that are homeschooled.

So my point is that where/how you are schooled does NOT make you socially awkward.  Nor does going to school make you socially adept.  We hear a lot in the news these days about bullying in schools and even on school busses.  Do I meet someone who tells me where they are sending their kids to school and I say, "Oooohh. Are you worried they'll be bullied or a bullier?  How are you going to address that to make sure they don't fall into either group?"  They would look at me like I was crazy.  What is going on IN the schools is a direct result of what is going on in the homes.  Schools don't MAKE bullies.

I firmly believe that my kids were born the kind of student that they are and that I did little to change that.  I certainly tried to help each of them build on their strengths and learn from and overcome their weaknesses.  I believe that through homeschooling they received more attention, more opportunity to grow personally, better sibling relationships, and I pray to God that they are better critical thinkers!