...you must never yell at your children. I'm not saying that as an order, I'm saying that as an assumption. Over the years, many people have said things to me upon finding out that I homeschool. So in this post, I wish to sort out the fact from myth. As to this particular one, it is a myth. A mom once told me she could never homeschool because she new she would yell at her kids. WHAT???? (That's what happened in my head.) WHAT??? She thinks I never yell at my kids???? Ummm... I have yelled at my kids..and do. It's not something I'm proud of; but there it is. Sometimes, I lose my patience and I yell. My kids will tell you that I have oft said, "Why do people yell? Because they feel they are not being listened to!!" I say this during my rant. So, sorry to take that reason for not homeschooling away, but homeschoolers may, might, shouldn't, but do, sometimes yell at their kids.
...you must have a degree in education. This kept me from homeschooling for many years. I thought I was unqualified. What it takes to manage a classroom in our school system is very different from what it takes to educate your kids at home. In addition, you have the teacher books as an aid and can buy complete curriculums and lesson plans, if you want. It's been 12 years since I started and there is so much available on-line now. No teacher has all the knowledge in his/her head. There may be some states that require that, but I'm not aware of them. Contact your local chapter of HSLDA to find out.
....you are superwoman. This one always makes me feel uncomfortable. SO many people I meet, upon learning that we homeschool, go on about how wonderful I am, how amazed they are, how they could never do what I do. I'm no more superwoman than they are. I remember the first year we homeschooled I was so relieved. I hated following the school schedule from the time Martin was 4 years old and went to pre-school 3 days a week. Hated it! Life was so much more peaceful marching to the beat of our own drum. So, to me, all the other women out there are superwomen. Kids in school, jobs, extra-curricular activities; I don't know how YOU do it. I can assure you that I have never met a homeschool mom who feels like superwoman. So, let's just agree that we all spend our time the way that works best for our families and leave it at that.
...your kids must be socially awkward. My personal favorite. (heavy sigh) My first and last word on this is: where you are educated does NOT make you socially awkward. If you think about it, there are socially awkward kids in school and socially adept kids that homeschool. If you find a higher percentage of socially awkward kids among homeschoolers, it may be because the families choose to homeschool rather than subject their kids to being bullied in school. Also, don't confuse socialization with counter-cultural. Many homeschoolers don't watch a lot of television. Their kids may not have cell phones. That makes them counter-cultural, not socially awkward. As a society, with our collective mind, we reject those who are different, especially in the teen years. So maybe your kids are socially awkward or maybe they're just counter-cultural , but feel free to homeschool in either case!
....your kids must be super smart. Countless people respond with that. They've heard all the stories of spelling bee winners, geography bee winners and 15 year olds ready for college. I guess that does happen. Not in our homeschool though. I told my husband before we began homeschooling that one thing I did not want to do is have kids ready for college at 15 or 16 years old. I believe my kids, and your kids, are the students they are and we have very little affect on that. I'm NOT saying that parents can't/don't influence their children's education. That would be silly! I'm just saying that those high-achievers would have been high-achievers wherever they were educated. Certainly, ALL the winners of the spelling/geography bees are not homeschooled. Homeschooling doesn't produce brilliance anymore than it produces social awkwardness. It is true that with homeschooling, kids learn to advance at their own pace. If they have a passion, they have more time to develop it. Those things are true. But not every homeschooled kid is super smart.
....your house will be messy. I'm afraid that is probably true. No matter who you are, unless you are superwoman, the level of cleanliness will probably be less than it would be if your kids went to school. This is true for two reasons, first, because your kids are home and second, you have a full time job. Homeschooling is a full-time job. It doesn't have 9-5 hours, but it takes up time and energy like a full-time job would. There are ways to keep on top of the house and I'll talk about that later.
....your kids must not have learning disabilities. While it's true that some learning disabilities or behavior issues require professional help, it is also true that many families homeschool BECAUSE they have a child (children) with a learning disability. I have a child with dyslexia. Homeschooling allows for one on one attention, tailor made curriculum, and flexibility. A active child can get up and do 10 minutes of jumping jacks if need be. Or a child mastering the times table can do so while riding their scooter or swinging on the swing. Parents of kids with disabilities do homeschool because it allows for more flexibility and for the child to move at their own pace.
....you must be a religious zealot or government paranoid. I'm neither and I've met many other parents who are neither of those things. Of'course, you can find religious zealots and people who are paranoid about the government but it is not a prerequisite. Many families do homeschool in order to better pass on their beliefs in God, but there are also secular homeschool groups that do not want to be associated with any religion. Although there was a time when homeschoolers fit more neatly into a 'box,' I believe the variety of homeschoolers today is as large as the variety of families all around the world.
....you must have LOTS of patience. Well, you'd have to ask my kids about that. It's probably true that homeschooling teaches you patience, but that's true of parenting. That's how I look at it. Parenting requires patience and working with your kids on their homework requires patience. Heck, eating dinner with your kids requires patience. If you believe yourself to be a person who is short on patience, don't let that stop you from homeschooling. When I find myself short on patience, I check my expectations and adjust my attitude. Usually, I'm expecting too much from my kids or myself.
....your kids will be too dependent on you. That's the complete opposite of the objective of homeschooling. As homeschoolers, we are trying to teach our children how to teach themselves. As a homeschooling mom, you will become frazzled if you allow your children to depend on you too much. I've heard comments from teachers at my boys' high school about how the homeschooled kids tend to work ahead. That's more like it!
....you must be having a lot of fun. Well, that's hard to argue with! I used to tell my husband that if we're not having fun, we're done homeschooling. I'm still homeschooling. There are good times and bad, but overall, I love the memories we've created and the fun we've had. It is a lifestyle and I'm glad God called us to it. It's certainly an adventure!!
My next post in this series will be my last in this series. I will address some questions that I've gotten over the years. I hope you had a happy St. Patrick's Day, a blessed Lenten season, and I hope you have a Happy Holy Week!
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