Monday, March 25, 2013

If you homeschool, then...

...you must never yell at your children.  I'm not saying that as an order, I'm saying that as an assumption.  Over the years, many people have said things to me upon finding out that I homeschool.  So in this post, I wish to sort out the fact from myth.  As to this particular one, it is a myth.  A mom once told me she could never homeschool because she new she would yell at her kids.  WHAT????  (That's what happened in my head.)  WHAT??? She thinks I never yell at my kids????  Ummm... I have yelled at my kids..and do.  It's not something I'm proud of; but there it is.  Sometimes, I lose my patience and I yell.  My kids will tell you that I have oft said, "Why do people yell? Because they feel they are not being listened to!!"  I say this during my rant.  So, sorry to take that reason for not homeschooling away, but homeschoolers may, might, shouldn't, but do, sometimes yell at their kids.

...you must have a degree in education.  This kept me from homeschooling for many years.  I thought I was unqualified.  What it takes to manage a classroom in our school system is very different from what it takes to educate your kids at home.  In addition, you have the teacher books as an aid and can buy complete curriculums and lesson plans, if you want.  It's been 12 years since I started and there is so much available on-line now.  No teacher has all the knowledge in his/her head.  There may be some states that require that, but I'm not aware of them.  Contact your local chapter of HSLDA to find out.

....you are superwoman.  This one always makes me feel uncomfortable.  SO many people I meet, upon learning that we homeschool, go on about how wonderful I am, how amazed they are, how they could never do what I do.  I'm no more superwoman than they are.  I remember the first year we homeschooled I was so relieved.  I hated following the school schedule from the time Martin was 4 years old and went to pre-school 3 days a week.  Hated it!  Life was so much more peaceful marching to the beat of our own drum.  So, to me, all the other women out there are superwomen.  Kids in school, jobs, extra-curricular activities; I don't know how YOU do it.  I can assure you that I have never met a homeschool mom who feels like superwoman.  So, let's just agree that we all spend our time the way that works best for our families and leave it at that. 

...your kids must be socially awkward.  My personal favorite. (heavy sigh) My first and last word on this is: where you are educated does NOT make you socially awkward. If you think about it, there are socially awkward kids in school and socially adept kids that homeschool.  If you find a higher percentage of socially awkward kids among homeschoolers, it may be because the families choose to homeschool rather than subject their kids to being bullied in school.  Also, don't confuse socialization with counter-cultural.  Many homeschoolers don't watch a lot of television.  Their kids may not have cell phones.  That makes them counter-cultural, not socially awkward.  As a society, with our collective mind, we reject those who are different, especially in the teen years.  So maybe your kids are socially awkward or maybe they're just counter-cultural , but feel free to homeschool in either case!

....your kids must be super smart.  Countless people respond with that.  They've heard all the stories of spelling bee winners, geography bee winners and 15 year olds ready for college.  I guess that does happen.  Not in our homeschool though.  I told my husband before we began homeschooling that one thing I did not want to do is have kids ready for college at 15 or 16 years old.  I believe my kids, and your kids, are the students they are and we have very little affect on that.  I'm NOT saying that parents can't/don't influence their children's education.  That would be silly!  I'm just saying that those high-achievers would have been high-achievers wherever they were educated.  Certainly, ALL the winners of the spelling/geography bees are not homeschooled.  Homeschooling doesn't produce brilliance anymore than it produces social awkwardness.  It is true that with homeschooling, kids learn to advance at their own pace.  If they have a passion, they have more time to develop it.  Those things are true.  But not every homeschooled kid is super smart.

....your house will be messy.  I'm afraid that is probably true.  No matter who you are, unless you are superwoman, the level of cleanliness will probably be less than it would be if your kids went to school.  This is true for two reasons, first, because your kids are home and second, you have a full time job.  Homeschooling is a full-time job.  It doesn't have 9-5 hours, but it takes up time and energy like a full-time job would.  There are ways to keep on top of the house and I'll talk about that later.

....your kids must not have learning disabilities.  While it's true that some learning disabilities or behavior issues require professional help, it is also true that many families homeschool BECAUSE they have a child (children) with a learning disability.  I have a child with dyslexia.  Homeschooling allows for one on one attention, tailor made curriculum, and flexibility.  A active child can get up and do 10 minutes of jumping jacks if need be.  Or a child mastering the times table can do so while riding their scooter or swinging on the swing.  Parents of kids with disabilities do homeschool because it allows for more flexibility and for the child to move at their own pace.

....you must be a religious zealot or government paranoid.  I'm neither and I've met many other parents who are neither of those things.  Of'course, you can find religious zealots and people who are paranoid about the government but it is not a prerequisite.  Many families do homeschool in order to better pass on their beliefs in God, but there are also secular homeschool groups that do not want to be associated with any religion.  Although there was a time when homeschoolers fit more neatly into a 'box,' I believe the variety of homeschoolers today is as large as the variety of families all around the world. 

....you must have LOTS of patience.  Well, you'd have to ask my kids about that.  It's probably true that homeschooling teaches you patience, but that's true of parenting.  That's how I look at it.  Parenting requires patience and working with your kids on their homework requires patience.  Heck, eating dinner with your kids requires patience.  If you believe yourself to be a person who is short on patience, don't let that stop you from homeschooling.  When I find myself short on patience, I check my expectations and adjust my attitude.  Usually, I'm expecting too much from my kids or myself.

....your kids will be too dependent on you.  That's the complete opposite of the objective of homeschooling.  As homeschoolers, we are trying to teach our children how to teach themselves.  As a homeschooling mom, you will become frazzled if you allow your children to depend on you too much.  I've heard comments from teachers at my boys' high school about how the homeschooled kids tend to work ahead.  That's more like it!

....you must be having a lot of fun.  Well, that's hard to argue with!  I used to tell my husband that if we're not having fun, we're done homeschooling.  I'm still homeschooling.  There are good times and bad, but overall, I love the memories we've created and the fun we've had.  It is a lifestyle and I'm glad God called us to it.  It's certainly an adventure!!

My next post in this series will be my last in this series.  I will address some questions that I've gotten over the years.  I hope you had a happy St. Patrick's Day, a blessed Lenten season, and I hope you have a Happy Holy Week!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Why Choose What

This is a post about curriculums I've used and what has worked for me.  Keep in mind that there are tons of good choices out there and you have to find what works for you.  More importantly, you have to find what works for each child.  When choosing curriculum you will have to consider what kind of teaching method you are going to use, your child's learning style, and also consider the content of the books (do you support what it is teaching).

Preschool and kindergarten:  This is a great time to unschool.  We mostly played games, sang songs, explored the world.  The key at this age is to have fun.  Ask your school district what they expect kids to know by the end of kindergarten.  Usually, they need to know their name, address, phone number, the alphabet (saying it and recognizing letters), counting to 10, and shapes and colors.  These are minimums.  I used Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons with Sam, Jane, and Ruth and loved it. If you have multiple kids, the older kids are great teachers!  Chances are your child will soar with your loving attention!

Religion:  The Bible.  Read from it to your kids.  Read a few verses in the morning, at lunch, after dinner.  Pick a favorite book; Genesis, Acts, Letter from James, a gospel, and read it, verse by verse, over and over.  The repetition is good and it will give each semester or school year a focus.  I have also picked different prayers that we memorize by praying them either in the morning or at lunch.  Some people go to daily mass and begin each day that way.  We prayed around our school table in the mornings.  Sometimes, informal prayers and sometimes the rosary.  As the kids get older, I think it is great to just take the Catechism and study it.  So many Catholics don't even know what the Church teaches and to read the catechism is to discover that She is beautiful.

Math:  I start out with ABeka 1st-3rd and then switch to Saxon in 4th grade.  The earlier Saxon I found boring for the younger kids but the older ABeka wasn't challenging enough.  I love the younger ABeka because the lessons have other things incorporated.  Each unit focuses on something like Around the World or Careers.  The lessons are very colorful.  I've heard good things about Math-U-See and tried it briefly with Ruth.  She didn't want to do it, but I've incorporated some of the materials (manipulatives) in her early learning and I think it really helped; we still reference "decimal street."  This is a subject that I don't think a lot of research is warrented.  The biggest factor with math is consistency.  Do it every day.  Drill those math facts and get a good foundation.  I treat math like tithing or my mortgage payment:  it has to be done without fail.

English:  I've used Rod -n- Staff for english all these years and I can't say enough good things about it.  It is published by the Amish folks.  It is very practical.  The student has a text, workbook, test book and you have ONE teacher book.  That's huge; I love that.  My teacher book has the same page number that the student's are on.  It has exactly what the teacher is supposed to say and each lesson begins with an oral review. Answers to review questions are on the same page, and answers to worksheets and tests are in the back. Whew!  I wish they would all do that!  Also, I have warm memories of my kids cracking up when they would read sentences like, 'Dorcas has been baking all day.'  A little levity is lovely!*

Science:  Apologia.  Period.  Love it and wish I had used it all these years.  I used some ABeka, some LifePac, and others.  I've always had a hard time picking a science curriculum.  I admit, I had seen apologia science and didn't use it because it looked so boring.  Well, shame on me.  Lesson learned.  Not only can you not judge a book by it's cover, you can't judge a book by glancing at it's pages!  It was just SO much writing and few pictures.  If I were a kid, that text would not excite me.  But I've taken three kids through it (and plan to take Ruth, as well) and they consumed it. Sam was the second kid I took through it and when I mapped out the lesson plan for that year I planned on skipping a couple of sections because I felt they dealt with things he'd already learned.  He liked the text so much he decided he didn't want to skip any of it and he did the extra reading to fit them in.  I only wish I had taken my oldest through it, too!  It's outstanding.

History:  I have never found a history curriculum I liked well enough to use repeatedly or to recommend.  In the primary grades I used How Our Nation Began (1st-3rd grade appropriate) and The Evangelization of the New World (2nd-4th, maybe 5th grade) and felt these were excellent texts for primary history.  I used ABeka for some history as well.  Sadly, much beyond 5th or 6th grade, the curriculum turns decidely anti-catholic.  I tried Rod -n- Staff, but they too spend a great deal of time teaching their students how awful catholics are.  (That's a whole seperate post!)  Anyway, there is a curriculum out there for history that is based on developing a timeline.  I think if I had it to do over, I would choose that.  We did a couple of history timelines over the years and the kids always responded well.  They were excited about doing them and learned from and remember them.  Mostly, I've used the library, our encyclopedias, and research on the internet (supervised, of'course) to teach the kids history and that has seemed to work.

Spelling:  LOTS of choices here. I now use Seton for spelling and penmanship.  Beautiful books with faith woven in every page.  This is a subject, though, that requires a lot of trial and error.  My best advice is to try things and give them a chance before you throw in the towel.  Too much switching can be detrimental.  Honestly, I think reading and writing is the best way to improve spelling.  That being said, I think you still need a curriculum and I believe that this is the subject I've thrown away the most money on.  For me, the best formula is: new list (perhaps pre-test) on Monday, exercises with the words on Tu-W-Th and test on Friday.  If a curriculum doesn't follow that methodology, I don't look at it anymore.

Literature:  One thing we did that we all liked was reading at lunch time.  Lunch had the potential to bring chaos to our world.  It was distressing to me to end our morning studies only to have the kids run around like maniacs and leave me wondering why we were doing this homeschool thing.  So, very early on, I decided I would read to them at lunch.  I had heard that reading to kids is a very great discipline.  It teaches kids focus, imagination, and how to sit still.  I think we started with the Harry Potter series; it was Martin's suggestion.  All the kids in school had been talking about it (the first 5 or so books were already out) and he thought maybe we should give it a try.  Soon, we read that at night (so Daddy could hear, too) and I read Little Women at lunch.  Yes, Little Women and my "little men" loved it.  They couldn't wait for the next day to hear more and would beg me to keep reading.  No one was more surprised than me, but a good book is a good book.  We read the Series of Unfortunate Events, Charlottes Web, Treasure Island, Magic Tree House books, The Boxcar Children, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, Ella Enchanted, The Little Princess, and many more I can't think of right now.  Daily routine and practice helps to train children and with homeschooling you can maximize those opportunities. 

I would be remiss if I did not mention my Emma Serl books.  They were books that were mentioned by Laura Berquist in her book, Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum and I have used them with all 5 of my kids and I will never sell them.  These are old books not easily found and they teach basic english grammar and what I especially love is the memorization exercises.  Sprinkled throughout the books (there are two, primary and intermediate) are poems for memorization.  My kids have memorized many a poem and I believe they are better for having done so.  It's a good exercise for their brain (memorization is an integral part of a classical education) and I know that those good words are in their hearts.

Now, a word on testing.  Many homeschoolers are wholeheartedly against testing.  I don't really understand why so I can't speak to that.  If a curriculum I buy comes with testing, we will use the tests.  Maybe not religiously, but it's ususally built into my lesson plan.  As far as standarized testing, I did test my kids once in a while.  Really, for my own sake.  I just needed to know they were on track and I wasn't missing anything.  Then, as they approached high school, I tested them because the high schools want to see the test results.  Testing is a tool.  Nothing is all bad or all good, so use tests as a guide and not as a task master.

I have really labored over this post.  I'm not sure I'm happy with it still.  No one can really give you advice on curriculum.  For every person you find that swears by a curriculum, I can show you a person that hated it.  My advice, as always, is to pray about it.  Talk to people, go to the conferences, look on-line and then take a leap of faith and dive in.  As a homeschooler your job is to provide opportunities.  Use the library, use encyclopedias, take field trips, join clubs and your kids will learn.  Remember, as homeschoolers you're teaching your children how to be lifelong learners.  You are teaching them how to teach themselves.  Trust yourself and your child's ability to learn and enjoy the adventure!

* My apologies if your name is Dorcas.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Teaching Methods

I'm not an expert on teaching methods.  I'm not even a good reference.  The best I can do is to tell you what to research.  I wish when we were making the decision to homeschool, I had taken a little more time (any time would have been more) researching what the different methods were. 

We went to the Catholic homeschool conference in our area, which took place in March.  There was a speaker there by the name of Laura Berquist.  She is the author of the book Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum.  We went to her talks and I really enjoyed her.  After wandering around being thoroughly overwhelmed by all the curriculum choices I finally bought her book, went to the section where she recommends curriculum for each grade level, and bought what she recommended for the grades we had that first year.  Although I liked everything I got, it was a stupid way to choose curriculum. 

In hindsight, I had more time.  We weren't starting our homeschool till the following September.  That's six whole months.  I could have perused the books at the conference and then researched types of teaching and then purchased on-line.  I just felt so overwhelmed by all the choices and no idea of where to start. Now, I know that the best place to start is to define how you are going to educate your kids.  See, I didn't even know that there were different ways to homeschool.  I'll give you the little information I have and then you can do more research about the methods and that might help give you a starting point for curriculum.

Classical teaching is designed to teach to the developemental stage of the child.  The 3 stages, called the Trivium are: grammar, logic and rhetoric.  When you use this training, your kids may appear to lag behind their peers in traditional school at first.  However, when they hit middle and especially high school, they will take off and excel.  I have employed some of this ideology and I believe it has helped my kids.  I've known homeschoolers who teach classical and it is always impressive.  If I could have a do-over, I think I would try to do classical all the way.  It's an excellent education.

Unschooling is another choice that I personally was not able to pull off.  Do your research on this.  Talk to other homeschoolers who unschool and really understand the methodology before beginning.  It is my impression that families are unschoolers.  In other words, it's how the parents are; they can't help it.  Their whole approach to life and their lifestyle is conducive to unschooling.  Often, they travel a lot and are very adventurous and their kids are the big benefactors.  Unschooling is simply learning while living.  They use books a lot, just not textbooks so much.

Two other methods are Montessori and Waldorf.  I know a very little about both.  Montessori is child led.  What is the child interested in and then imerse them in things to broaden their learning about it.  Waldorf is, I believe, based in the arts; using the arts to teach.  There are Montessori and Waldorf schools that offer classes for homeschoolers as enrichment, but these methods can also be used at home.  While montessori education has been around a long time and there are formal schools that use this method, Waldorf is relatively new and slightly controversial.  Again, do your research first.

Finally, the traditional method of schooling needs little explaining.  You use textbooks, workbooks, and test and you cover the four R's - Religion, Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic - plus spelling and history and grammar and science, etc.  You sit at the table and do lessons and have seat work, etc.  This is mostly what I have done while also doing some unschooling activities and employing some classical techniques.  A very ecclectic approach.  I would, after 12 years of homeschooling, recommend you NOT bring the classroom home.  I wish someone had told me that 12 years ago.  The decision to homeschool opens a door, a big door.  There are so many opportunities and resources available.  Don't feel you have to bring the traditional classroom experience you had growing up (or your kids have had if they are in school) home.  I don't think I totally did that, but I spent too much time trying.  If you choose to homeschool, you're already unconventional, non-traditional, counter-cultural.  If you don't fit in the box at traditional school, why try to fit in the box at home?

So, pray about it.  Seek God's guidance.  Do lots of research.  Talk to multitudes of people and when you and your spouse decide how your homeschool is going to be....know that it will change!  Find a starting point but be flexible.  Know that your family will grow and change and that tomorrow is always a surprise.

Next time, a little more specifics on what I've used, why I've used it or not used it, and what you need to consider when choosing curriculum.  I've also recently been asked about testing, especially in the elementary years, so I'll touch on that next time.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Interlude

I felt the need to have a little interlude in my series, Focus on the Decision to Homeschool.  After all, life at my homeschool continues with new daily challenges and triumphs.  At the top of my list of things to report is my oldest daughters reading.  If you are a follower, you'll know that getting sweet Jane to read what I want her to read is a bit of a struggle (like pulling dandelions!).

For her biology class at the co-op, the teacher had the kids read a book called Darwin's Black Box by Michael Behe.  It is an impressive book.  Not small and dealing with the theory of evolution as viewed from the bio-chemistry field.  I've read perhaps 3 chapters and it was not easy.  Jane has read the whole thing AND written a very nice summary (500 words) of it.  Soooo, apparently, I am incapable to putting enough pressure on her to get the same results. 

However, I have spoken with her and pointed out our struggles (mine really).  I pointed out that if it takes a classroom and teacher to "make" her complete the assignment, perhaps we should revisit our decision.  I pointed out that she is an excellent reader (currently consuming the 8 book Artemis Fowl Series faster than the library can provide them).  I pointed out that in choosing to homeschool, she put me in charge of her education and in doing so, must respect the tasks I assign her.  I pointed out that when her co-op teacher assigned the Darwin book, she was not happy about it.  In the finally analysis, however, she admited that there were redeeming qualities.  She was able to see that she learned from it, found some of it interesting, and was glad she read it.  Is it possible?!?! that she could have the same experience with me???  Perhaps, she could give a book or two that I assign a try?  She might find she likes it!  Mostly, I stressed that if we are going to do this, she is going to have to accept assignments and not just blow off what she doesn't want to do.

Since that conversation, I've had another idea. I think we will change the focus of her blog.  She wrote an outstanding summary of the Darwin book (seems to be a good writer like her brother, Leo) and I thought maybe we will transfer her book list to her blog.  Each time she reads a book, she can review it on her blog.  She can create a star rating system.  She can review her books for school, as well as her leisure books.  She and her friends talk often of the books or series they are reading and often that is where Jane gets ideas for what she's going to read next.

I'm still thinking about this.  It's all in how I present it.  I have to give her options while still making it clear that it is an assignment.  Hopefully, some new, productive changes in the near future.

Ruth is still on track to move into 4th grade in April.  She is doing outstanding in all her subjects except spelling.  Her spelling is....well, horrible and below where it should be.  I blame myself.  I have a really hard time not correcting her spelling in "pleasure" writing.  Which, of'course, makes writing anything but pleasurable.  But, I've made a new resolve to have her write two letters a week and I WILL NOT CORRECT them.  I do have her proof read them and she already (in a about 3 weeks time) is showing great improvement.  She writes to friends and relatives about anything and everything.  We are also focusing on reading comprehension where she has to answer a question after reading an essay.  The answer has to be in paragraph form so it gives her plenty of practice writing, spelling, etc. 

I don't believe I've mentioned, but Jane's sewing class was cancelled.  I am so sad about it, but have to admit that it is nice to have that one day a week that is 'easy.'  Tuesday is now our stay at home, quiet day and I love it!  I've really got to work hard next year to have two days a week like that.

Now, back to my Focus on the Decision!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Curriculum

I hope you are not expecting me to tell you what curriculum to get?  I can't do that.  This post focuses on the different ways you can provide curriculum. 

First, if you decide to unschool, you won't be using curriculum.  Unschoolers use magazines, libraries, lots of reading, educational games, real life experiences.  I know unschoolers who live in a rural setting and have 5 boys. The mother's motto was, "Let them get bored and see what happens."  One summer they built a bridge over the creek; in the winter, they put together a kit car in the garage.  Again, as the parents, you provide the opportunities to learn and then let them.  These 5 young men are college graduates with distinguished careers now.  I never had the guts to unschool; it was just too different for me.  But I admired that family and if you can do it, the kids become life-long learners with great confidence.

More traditionally, there are three ways you can use curriculum to homeschool.  Many families buy a packaged curriculum that comes with all the books you need for a particular grade plus a lesson plan, grading, and record-keeping.  It's basically distance learning.  It takes the pressure off of you, it "feels" more traditional, everything is right there for you.  All of the subjects seem to work together, too.  On the flip side, the lesson plan doesn't allow for your schedule; you'll have to tweak it.  I would struggle not to feel a slave to someone else's timeline.  Also, you are responsible for getting the assignments in for grading and you have to track the hours spent in subjects and then report that for their record keeping, which always seemed like double the work to me (If I am tracking it and writing it down, why am I then sending it to them to put in a ledger? Can't I just do that?).  But if you are a stickler for being "official" this may be the route for you.  If you stick with a particular provider, they provide report cards and certificates/diplomas throughout the years.  Keep in mind, this is also probably the most expensive way to go.

Just short of that, you can buy the curriculum but develop your own lesson plan, grading, and record keeping.  Some homeschoolers purchase the textbooks, workbooks, test booklets, and teacher books from a single provider and then put together their own lesson plan to follow.  Obviously, this will give you more flexibility but you also will have to spend time developing your lesson plan.  I take a few afternoons, usually in May, and go out of the house (sit in a coffee shop or the library) with my calendar, and our textbooks, and map it all out.  It's probably a total of about 20 hours of work for 4 kids.  With just my 2 girls now, it's maybe a 4-6 hour endeavor.  Even though I'm developing my own schedule, it will still end up being tweaked throughout the year.  That's life; at least at our house.  This option is less expensive for two reasons.  One is that you are not paying for the service of planning, grading, and record keeping.  This option also allows more freedom to purchase used curriculum.  If you like the continuity of buying from one provider, but you don't want to answer to someone else, this will be a good option for you.

Finally, some people pick and pull together an ecclectic array of curriculum from different providers.  Sometimes it is hard to find a curriculum provider that you love all of their books; or that your kids love all of their books.  It's a little more work to hand pick, because there is so much to choose from and it takes time to sift through and pick things.  Sometimes, it's frustrating, because you think something looks great or your kids will love it, but it doesn't work out; back to the drawing board.  But this does allow the greatest flexibility for you and your kids.  This is the most labor intensive route, but over the years it gets easier and easier for two reasons.  First, you get to know more curriculum and second, you get to know your kids learning styles better.  So, this is the most labor instensive, but also provides the most flexibility for you and your children.

I find curriculum to be the most stressful part of homeschooling.  Surprising, right?  It takes a lot of time and expense and when I was starting out, I just had no idea where to begin.  It's frustrating to try things and several months into the school year find it's not working.  With five kids, I even find it a little stressful to store all of the curriculum I've gotten over the years.  So, this is just a little post on some starter thoughts about curriculum.  In my next post, I'll address styles of education and a little more about what to consider when choosing curriculum.  I hope some of this is helpful.  I've also tried to add more curriculum links at the bottom of my blog for you to check out.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

What to Expect

Expect this to be a lifestyle.  Homeschooling isn't just a way to educate your kids.  It affects your whole family.  Your attitude to learning is bound to be different than the mainstream and so will your lifestyle.

Expect to have a messier house.  Let's face it.  Families with kids in school have cleaner houses.  There are levels of clean, certainly.  But, whatever your level of cleanliness is now, it will probably go down with your kids home.  However, when I started homeschooling, I read some wonderful hints in Manager's of their Homes about how to stay on top of the chores.  More on that later.

Expect to be done A LOT sooner than your kids counterparts in traditional school.  When my kids got Chicken Pox in January (just as we were making the decision to homeschool) and missed a week of school, I was astounded by how quickly and easily they got their day's work done.  It just doesn't take that long, especially in the early elementary years.

Expect to find an abundance of homeschool programs you never knew exsisted.  At least in my city, I continue to find all sorts of programs for homeschoolers.  Zoos, museums, symphonies, any place that offers group tours, gymnastic/swim/dance places are just some of the places you'll find have programs during the day for homeschoolers.  And many places that don't already have a program for homeschoolers, are happy to accomodate a group if you get one together for a tour or a class. 

Expect to have to spend some time on discipline within your school environment.  We put up a check-list in the hallway outside the bathroom.  It had what each child was expected to do each morning/night.  Then, we had a check-list by the school shelves to remind students what supplies they needed.  This is because it was very disruptive to have 2, 3 or 4 kids coming to the table and then saying, "I forgot to brush my teeth."  "Can I get a drink of water?"  "I don't have my pencil."  Once at the table, they were expected to sit and quietly work.  Whining about work or laying on the table was not tolerated.

Expect to develop a mantra.  Mine was, "Come to the table a willing student."  I told my kids that Daddy and I were responsible for providing them with the tools to learn, their job was to come to the table a willing student.  Whining, exhaling loudly, rolling their eyes, "laying" on the table are not signs of a willing student.  Telling me "the book is wrong" is also frowned upon.  It has happened a few times over 12 years, but really, the book is seldom wrong.

Expect to have an easier time if you tell them what you want them to do.  In reference to what I mentioned above, I didn't like them coming to me and saying, "Mom, this book is wrong.  This problem doesn't work." (said in an indignant, life-is-unfair tone of voice)  Make sure to tell them what to say instead, "Mom, I'm having trouble with this problem."  In other words, don't just tell your kids what not to do, tell them what you want them to do.  I'm not saying that once I tell them what is acceptable, they never disappoint.  But they will usually respond positively if they know what I want.

Expect to be questioned when you go out with your obviously school-aged kids during a school day.  Believe it or not, this was my biggest challenge when I started.  I was unprepared.  I didn't think people would pay that much attention, but they do.  When it's 11:00a.m. on a school day and you show up at the grocery store with your 4th grader, 3rd grader, kindergartener, and 2 year old, the cashier WILL say, "So, why are you kids off today?"  And then my little guys would look at me with big eyes and I would sheepishly tell the cashier that we are homeschoolers.  I'd almost whisper it...apologetically.  I don't know what I was afraid of....an argument, a judgement?  It would inevitably be followed with a myriad of questions that would keep me longer than I intended.  Then, one day, it happened.  We were making a "quick" trip to pick up juice boxes on our way to the zoo and the older boys said, "And, Mom, don't talk to anybody about homeschooling.  Just say we have a day off."  AND I DID!  I lied.  Right or wrong, we just didn't have time so I just smiled and said, "Oh some teacher meetings or something."  Now, this was not my routine from then on.  It just depended on whether I had time for the inquiry.  More importantly, I learned to not sound so apologetic or embarrassed about homeschooling.  How the parents feel about homeschooling will have a direct affect on how the kids will feel about it.  So, at some point I started speaking up, with a smile on my face and declaring, "We homeschool!"  You have my permission to fib if needs be and to be proud of your choice to homeschool.

Expect to be discouraged.  But take heart; parents who send their kids to school experience this, too.  We all get discouraged at times.  It's important to reach out, seek support and re-evaluate with your spouse what's working and what isn't.  As my kids grew, and certainly when baby #5 came along, the dynamics change and the family is different.  What worked one year may need adjustment the next. 

And that's my final expectation, expect to have to re-evaluate.  I think I thought I would have a formula that worked and be done.  I'm never done.  Our family is always changing and each child is different.  When I reach a point where I feel like things are getting difficult, I know it's time to re-evaluate what we are doing and make some changes. 

My next post in this series will be on curriculum.  Until then...blessings to you and your family.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Preparation After the Decision

My husband and I both felt God was calling us to homeschool.  We spent at least a month researching on-line and talking with complete strangers to try and get a definitive answer.  Seeing as God no longer speaks to us from a burning bush (I wish He would; it'd be so much easier!) I guess we were looking for someone to say, "Yes, this is God's calling for your family.  You are doing the right thing and all will go well."  Like that ever happens...

We finally came to the conclusion that it would take a leap of faith.  Thus began our journey AND 6 months of preparation.  So, here are my thoughts on what we did and what I wish we had done.

First, google homeschooling and your city.  We found websites, blogs, co-ops and articles that kept us busy reading.   Second to reading on the internet, I encourage you to go to the library and peruse the books they have on homeschooling.  I think I found that more helpful than googling.  My favorite book is Real-Life Homeschooling by Rhonda Barfield.  She profiles 21 completely different homeschooling families.  It's a real eye-opener and I wish I had read it back when I was starting.  Keep in mind, not everything will appeal to you, but it helps to see all the possibilities.  There are many forms of homeschooling: classical, traditional, un-schooling, ecclectic, montessori, waldorf, and probably more (I'll go more into that later). Finding the books on the subject and reading them and using them as a discussion tool between you and your spouse is very helpful as you strive to paint the emerging picture of what your homeschool will look like.

I was fortunate to know one or two homeschoolers in the area (if you don't, look on the websites of the co-ops and there should be some contact names and numbers/emails) and called them to "pick their brain."  Homeschoolers are generally eager to help other families.  We've all been there and we were all, at one time, filled with questions about it.  These women I originally spoke to, in turn, would put me in touch with other homeschoolers.  I had to have the guts to call complete strangers and ask for a little of their very limited time to help me by answering my questions.  Talk about a thirst for knowledge; I was parched!  Thankfully, they were all happy to help.  Sometimes, I struggled to not feel overwhelmed by all the "make sure you do this" or the "it won't work if you" or "you have to" etc.  All well-meaning, as is this blog, but my advice is to take everything with a grain of salt.  Mull it over, discuss it with your spouse, and pray on it.  What works for one family, may not be for you.  You will have to sift through the abundance of information and find what is a good fit for your family.  Understand, I have had to do this at least 3 times since we began this journey.  As our family grew our needs and "flavor" changed.   

Some thought needs to be given about where your schooling will take place.  Some families have a school room; we never did.  I didn't think it necessary when we started, but in retrospect, it would have been nice to have a room where everything is located and you can go and work and then leave at the end of the day.  However, that being said, it is not necessary.  We mostly did our school right at the kitchen table.  When I was first pregnant with our 5th child, I was SO tired and we literally did our school work on my bed.  I would prop myself up with pillows, my 4 kids would come in with their books, and we did school work right there on the bed.  So, the size of your house may dictate whether you have a separate room, area of the basement, etc. or whether you get the work done at the kitchen table.

Wherever you homeschool, you are going to need to prepare for the onslaught of curriculum and supplies, etc.  So, give some thought to space.  We have always had bookshelves and each child has their own shelf where their books and supplies are kept.  Then, we also have some common supplies available on my shelf; yes, I get my own shelf, too.  I know one mom whose kids have desks in their room and their school supplies are all kept in their room.  Take a look around your house and decide where you'll put all the books and things that you will be using.  Even if you are un-schooling, you'll end up with magazine subscriptions, educational games, etc. that will need a place to "live" in your home. 

Lastly, part of my preparation was to give some thought to how our life-style would change or be different from others.  After we decided to jump into homeschooling in January of 2000, I went to a homeschool conference in March.  I sat in on a talk for new homeschoolers and remember the woman (who was from Chicago and had homeschooled her dozens of kids for thousands of years) remark how it was difficult for her to give up her mornings with the ladies in the neighborhood.  She had been in the habit of having coffee with the neighbors after the school-age kids got on the bus.  She knew her decision to homeschool meant no more of that and with tears in her eyes, admitted it was the hardest sacrifice for her.  I feel the same way.  I am a social person and LOVE to get together with other moms and chat.  So, I left that conference giving serious thought to how this decision would change our, and specifically my, lives.  I've known other moms who lament giving up their time on the computer, quiet time, daytime t.v., and a clean house.  Whatever difficult changes there will be, remember there will also be good changes.  Your family will be closer.  You will enjoy much more flexibility with your time and every day will be an Adventure!

One more thing.  Set a time period.  Especially if you are pulling your kids from traditional school, it is going to be an adjustment.  I don't know if you are starting from the beginning if this is an issue at all.  We committed to a year, but I've known people who commit to only a semester or less. I would strongly recommend that you give it AT LEAST a semester and preferrably a year. 

In my next post, I'll talk more specifically about the realities of homeschooling.  Sort of a "what to expect when you're expecting to homeschool."  In the meantime, I hope some of this post gives you some food for thought and I encourage you to comment with specific questions you may have that I can address in subsequent posts.  Thanks for reading!!